Bridge. Reed reports that they're locked out of the launchbay controls. Quantum calls the launchbay, but there's nobody home. Hoshi reads one person there.
Launchbay. Mozzarella Trip is leaning against an open sh'pod as Quantum walks in. "I wuz all ready to do it," Mozzarella Trip says, looking at his feet. Quantum asked him what stopped him. "Where the hell wuz I gonna go? We're nowhere near any habitable planet. Didn't really want to spend the rest of my life floatin' around in a shuttlepod. Which doesn't even have any toilet facilities. Can you imagine a lousier way to spend your old age? Cooped up in that thing? Peeing in a bottle?" Quantum looks at him. "You're floating around in space -- you gotta get used to peeing in weird places. You're on a starship -- your whole life is in a bottle! Are we supposed to take from this that he's as pewp-oriented as ProtoTryp is?" the Evil Dr. Mathra asks. "Actually, I can imagine a worse fate," Trip muses. "What would that be?" Quantum asks. "Being stuck in there with Malcolm," Trip chuckles. Quantum just looks down sadly. Mozzarella Trip comments that it's a screwed-up situation. "A lifetime in eight days," Mozzarella Trip says, and adds that he's not scared of dying: "It's just that I can't imagine not being here tomorrow." Mozzarella Trip tells him that what really stopped him was the memory of his sister dying, and as she was his sister as much as ProtoTryp's, he realized that he has to be a part of what stops that from happening to the rest of Earth. "That's why I gave the order to create you," Quantum nods. I think they should continue to keep Quantum unshaven like this. It looked good last week, and it looks good now. "Do me a favor when this is over -- if Commander Tucker decides to do any more modifications to the engines, tell him to watch his ass," Mozzarella Trip requests. I think T'Pol will be doing that for him.
ProtoTryp's Quarters. Celtic-y music plays as Mozzarella Trip lies on the bed and strokes Porthos. Phlox comms him that they're ready for him. Mozzarella Trip strokes Porthos a few more times and says he's on his way. He pats Porthos some more and sits up. Aw, man! Why'd you do that to me? Now I AM tearing up, and it's ruining the Aveda mask I just put on! Dude, crying during Enterprise? Where the hell is that bottle of gin? I'm really irritated that no one -- not Reed, not Hoshi, not Quantum nor that other guy -- thought to sit with Mozzarella Trip in these last hours. I mean, come ON! He's a perfect clone of ProtoTryp so he is their friend. Their friend who is going to die. Alone. What jerks. Porthos really is the best of the bunch. T'Pol's at the door. Mozzarella Trip's surprised. "I just wanted to say how much your absence will affect the crew. How much it will affect me," T'Pol says. Mozzarella Trip says he appreciates that, and he starts to say more, but T'Pol shuts him up with a kiss. Hey! She listened to me! I need a damn Kleenex and more gin already. "I couldn't have asked for a better going-away present," Mozzarella Trip says, living up to his name in that line. I do have a problem with this little scene of romance because I just don't buy that T'Pol, a Vulcan, developed feelings for a guy she's only known in adulthood for a few days. Not even a human would necessarily feel that. However, a human would feel pity, and I will allow that that could be what T'Pol decided to feel for Mozzarella Trip.
Sickbay. Mozzarella Trip walks in and says he's sorry he doubted Phlox. Phlox struggles to say that there's no need to apologize. "See, I don't just remember Trip's childhood," Mozzarella Trip adds. "You were a damned good father." "You were a damned good son," Phlox chokes back. Mozzarella Trip turns to Quantum and says that Quantum once told Mozzarella Trip that he was meant to pilot a starship, "I guess this was what I was meant to do. Good luck, Cap'n." Quantum thanks him. Mozzarella Trip stumbles over to ProtoTryp, pulls back the curtain, and mutters, "You owe me one." Mozzarella Trip lies down on the bed, and Phlox hyposprays him; Mozzarella Trip stares at Phlox a bit before he closes his eyes. The image of Mozzarella Trip lying on the bed fades to Mozzarella Trip lying in the sunglasses coffin, this time in appropriately blue uniform. Quantum finishes his eulogy, and we pan past Hoshi with crossed arms -- very rude, belligerent, and not at all respectful not to be standing fully at attention -- to ProtoTryp, who looks down at his cheesy clone. I really wish Quantum had been on level with the sunglasses coffin like Kirk, instead of looking down from above as though he were preaching a Sermon on the Mount. Quantum nods, and Reed and That Other Guy put the cover on the sunglasses case. Phlox and some random (not That Other Guy) step forward to complete the duties as pallbearers, and at the last moment, you can see T'Pol step forward and put one hand under the sunglasses case. The sunglasses case goes down a conveyer belt and through a metal detector before shooting into space. It seems to be aimed right at a bright star in the distance, a la The Wrath of Khan. All I can say about that is I'm glad they ejected it fore instead of aft.