Episode Report Card
admin: B- | 2 USERS: A+
Trip's Brain

Sickbay. Phlox takes blood from Trip's neck and injects it into Mozzarella Ball. He then sticks a probe into Mozzarella Ball, who splutters wetly. I think they just wrapped a water balloon in toilet paper to make Trip's clone.

Sep: "They reset his Tripometer."
Ace: "Two Trips, no waiting."

Phlox monitors unfertilized eggs on a screen. Dude! Trip's actually a woman! Not only that, an OVULATING woman! Or they could just be cells.

Enterprise is developing quite the party barf plaque problem. Maybe it should stop swilling all that Orange Crush. Status: engines are down, party barf is plaquing up, and Mozzarella Ball Trip is two days old.

Sickbay. Phlox guides Quantum to a object shrouded like a sideshow at a carnival. He whips off the cover and shows him a baby floating in orange goo while connected to a tube. It IS a carnival sideshow! Ew, the baby's got creepy strings hanging off of him. "Aw, how cute. Trip, he may have your eyes, but those strings are all Mozzarella Ball's!" Hey, do you think it's a good idea to poach the baby in Orange Crush at such a formative age? Look what it's doing to the hull of the ship! Phlox says that tomorrow morning they'll have a healthy baby boy on their hands. Now this is where it would be funny to find out that Trip's actually a woman. Think about it: no one has seen him naked, Phlox injected eggs into the Mozzarella Ball, AND he got pregnant. It could work.

A baby cries in the same incubator they put Porthos in. I hoped they cleaned it out since then. I mean, I love dogs, but, you know, stinky. Phlox proclaims Mozzarella Baby a "perfect genetic duplicate." Hold on, where did they get the dinky-poo shirt and the equally dinky-poo knitted cap? From the same store where they got the Western duds and guns? "Ye Olde Generally Spacey Store: Western clothes, six-shooters, and all the baby clothes you could want! We're located just around the corner from Porthos's hydrant so mind the poo!" Phlox hands a bottle over to T'Pol and pulls Mozzarella Baby out of the incubator, cooing that it's been a long time since he handled a newborn. Considering he's holding the kid upside down, I would have guessed as much. Kidding! I'm just kidding, god. Don't go getting your diapers in a twist. Now, I wonder if there were any strong opinions aboard regarding breast-feeding. I think if Phlox can make a Trip out of a mild, white fresh Italian cheese, he could make a wet nurse out of Hoshi or T'Pol. And that's not sexist, that's just dinners. Although T'Pol, being Vulcan, probably has copper-based milk, and no one wants to see that spit up.

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