Episode Report Card
admin: B- | 1 USERS: A+
The Hardy Boys Need To Exfoliate More

Anyway, shots of SWAT feet in the coldly lit and nonsensically smoky hallway. Shot of NotDean looking extremely NotAmused, fleeing into another bedroom. He sees the SWAT flashlights flashing outside the room, and stalks around looking like a trapped animal before deciding on leaving via the window at the exact moment the SWAT guys bust open the door. And we're full-circle back at the beginning. As NotDean turns slowly and the men yell for him to drop his knife, he whips it at the first SWAT guy and then fan-kicks the second. Get this guy on So You Think You Can Dance? with that fan kick! The SWAT guns go off, but NotDean escapes and leaps off a second-floor balcony. They machine-gun after him as he runs across the lawn.

Back in the sewer, that stupid song continues to build, and I am now guaranteed to have the screamed chorus in my head for at least three days. NotDean comes into view, staggering and ripping his jacket off. More staggering and the camera moves behind him, and he rips his shirt off. Hey! Man! Nice! Shot! He drops to his knees and grimaces and flexes and yelps and even though I'm usually more of a Musical Stylings of Stephin-Merritt Paired With the Sleepy Eyed Sensitivity of Peter-Sarsgaard type of woman, I'm finding myself rather interested in this whole Richard Patrick/Jensen Ackles skull-rings-and-growling thing. More shirtless flexing and clawing and grunting, which sounds sexy, except somewhere along the way the flexing turns more into parasites-roaming-around-under-the-skin as the monster seems to be molting. Just as Richard Patrick breaks into his screaming chorus, we get a set of nightmarish close-ups of NotDean as his mouth turns bloody and his teeth start falling out. Pan out on NotDean's torso writhing in pain; pan in to a close-up of a hand reaching up and tearing off an ear. Pan out to the body clawing at itself, pan in to the ear lying on the ground. Pan out to the hands successfully ripping off skin, revealing yet more bloody tissue underneath. Metal Teeth Chomp. Dinner, anyone?

Sam and RealDean stand in front of a bank of TVs in a storefront. Do those really exist? Anywhere? I mean, other than inside Sears? Playing on the TVs is a newscast alerting the public that a manhunt is in progress for a man thought responsible for binding and gagging a young woman. A police sketch flashes on the screen and sure enough, it's a pretty accurate depiction of our Ackles. Dean looks on in concern and whines that it isn't even a good picture. Sam looks around the street and mutters, "It's good enough."

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