Something Very Expensive

Episode Report Card
admin: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
Something Very Expensive

In the thoroughfare, the coach has arrived, bearing arrivals. A lady is trying to step out onto the street when Jarry rushes up, extending his hand. She thinks he's helping her down, but he actually pushes her back into the coach, rudely shoving her aside. Ever the gentleman, Merrick rushes over from his shop and helps down the discombobulated woman, introducing himself in the process. "I am Mary Stokes, Mr. Merrick," she tells him. He recognizes her name as the new schoolteacher who had been scheduled to arrive in town, and my husband and I screech with delight, as we have a very good, wickedly brilliant friend named Mary Stokes who IS a teacher. Sometimes, in fact, her high school English class is a lot like an episode of Deadwood. Poor ol' Miss Stokes. Both of them.

Back at the Gem, Trixie is leaving Al's office. She passes by the line of supplicants and makes the International Sign for Blow Job to E.B., sing-songing, "Liar!" E.B. looks put out, and gets up to go in to see Al. Meanwhile, Ellsworth comes in the back door, looking for Trixie. He tells her his nerves have had a shock, that Mrs. Garret took poorly at her morning meeting. To further demonstrate this, he makes the International Sign for Vomiting. (Y'all want to know something? I haven't vomited in, like, 15 years. I know! Anyway, I haven't. I'm sure I will now immediately come down with malaria. Sorry.) Trixie pulls him into what, I guess, is the whores' prep room, and bogarts a bottle of booze off one of the girls, being sure to wipe the mouth of the bottle on her sleeve. Ellsworth adds that, as a matter of fact, Mrs. G hasn't been looking too great the last few weeks. Trixie gets mad that he's kind of hinting around about a possible pregnancy, and Ellsworth asks how sharing observations make him "liable to rebuke," the modern day translation of which is, "I was just sayin'!"

Now they have a little who's-on-first. Trixie: "You got her knocked up, in otherwords?" Ellsworth: "ME?! I ain't got her in any way at all, Trixie!" No, what Trixie meant was, he figures her to be pregnant, right? Ellsworth is still on the defense, swigging to calm his nerves. Trixie asks him, even though he is just Mrs. G's employee, and nothing else, if he'll "do the right thing." It gets complicated, here. Trixie wants to know if Ellsworth would marry Mrs. G so that she could have the baby she wants so badly, but not have to scandalize Bullock's wife and child with his illegitimate issue. It takes a while for this to sink in for Ellsworth. When he finally gets it, he wonders if Mrs. G would even have him, should he ask. "I'd work on that, next," Trixie answers. All those years under Al's tutelage really taught Trixie how to scheme. Seems like she's using it for good in this case, though.

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