TB Or Not TB

Episode Report Card
admin: C+ | 3 USERS: B-
That Isn't The Question

Suddenly, Sebastian has a headache. Cameron helps him to sit at the top of the stairs, and takes his pulse. Using Third World medicine skills, Cameron measures Sebastian's heart rate with her fingers and reports that he's fine. So he barfs and passes out, taking Cameron and her improved diagnostician skills down with him. They tumble down to the next landing, Sebastian lying on top of Cameron. She savors that for a minute, and then calls out a code on the second-floor stairwell. Hopefully, someone happens to be passing by the stairwell door who can hear her and has the authority to do something about that, and also to inform Cuddy that Cameron is such a crappy doctor that she can't even wheel a patient to surgery without almost killing him.

Back from commercial, House and the Cottages are back in the meeting room trying to figure out what's wrong with Sebastian, since his stairwell collapse has shown that they were wrong about the heart problem. House actually admits that it's a good thing they figured this out before they gave Sebastian an unnecessary pacemaker, like Sebastian wasn't going to just rip it out of his chest and sell the parts off to buy more candy bars for African children anyway. Chase's unsolicited opinion is that Sebastian is a "selfish jerk," because, as House quickly deduces, Foreman told him that's what House said, and Chase the Weaselly Suck-Up was hoping to score some points with House by saying it as though he had thought of it himself. Foreman asks if they can stop talking about Sebastian's character and get back to his illness, because Foreman is the only person on staff who's a competent doctor. He thinks the headaches indicate a brain tumor, and recommends some brain tests. House tells them to get to it, and then answers the phone. It's the Clinic, wondering why he's late for duty. House happily offers to do an extra hour to make up for his tardiness, and tosses Foreman his name badge. Foreman walks off to make good on his bet.

Foreman enters a patient's room with a diagnosis of flu already made for her symptoms of "explosive diarrhea" and a fever. I guess if you know the patient has explosive diarrhea, you make every effort to spend as little time with her as possible. The patient sarcastically calls Foreman a "Harvard boy," because calling a black man "boy" isn't racist at all, but it is slightly better than "Mandingo," I guess. It turns out that Evil Nurse Brenda put patient Cecilia "Call me Mrs." Carter in the wrong room. Foreman apologizes for the confusion and starts to leave to find his explosive diarrhea patient (just follow your nose, Foreman!), but Mrs. Carter demands to be seen now, because she has cancer. You see, she found a lump in her breast and she figured the clinic was the best place to take care of it, as opposed to her actual doctor. For someone so willing to crap on other people's intelligence, Cecilia's pretty dumb. Foreman feels around Cecilia's boob. She sighs that her cousin had breast cancer, too. Foreman tells her she has nothing to worry about; the lump does not feel like a malignant tumor. Cecilia says they told her cousin that, too, and then she died six months later, but not before this weird young female doctor kept stopping by her room and hugging her and saying something about taking a trip to one of the few states that allow same-sex civil unions. They had to call Security to keep her out. Cecilia tells Foreman, noting the "Dr. House" nametag he's wearing, that she will not be dismissed like that. She demands a biopsy.

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