Sebastian gets an MRI of DOOM. In the booth, Cameron tells Chase how Sebastian asked her on a date, and to Africa. Chase assumes Cameron turned him down on both counts because Sebastian isn't House. Ugh, I thought we left that back in Season 1. Chase doesn't see anything wrong with Sebastian's brain. Cameron notices that Sebastian's PPD spot is now a huge red lump.
House is pissed that Cameron gave Sebastian a PPD after he specifically told her not to. Cameron says that's besides the point, which is that they know what's wrong with Sebastian and can treat him. House says that's not exactly true; he assumed that a guy who spent the last twenty years around TB patients had TB, but he still doesn't think the TB is what put Sebastian in the hospital. I hope someone goes off to check on that sick old lady who sat in Sebastian's wheelchair before she coughs up one or both of her lungs. House says that now that Sebastian has the TB diagnosis, he's going to be a stubborn jerk about it and not let them do any more tests to find out what's really wrong with him. Cameron points out that Sebastian isn't the only stubborn jerk obsessed with being right in this hospital, and says that they have to treat Sebastian's TB so they'll know which of his symptoms are from that and which are from his mystery illness. House has to admit that she has a point, and this is like the first time Cameron has ever been right about something. Congratulations, Cameron! House agrees to give Sebastian the TB drugs. "Maybe he'll actually get better," Cameron says. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?" House answers. He doesn't know her at all.
Wilson and House grab lunch at the cafeteria. House complains about Sebastian some more, saying that the guy is a "human telethon," not a "real doctor." Is anyone a "real doctor" according to House? Cuddy isn't, and now Sebastian isn't, either. And how is Sebastian's human telethon-ing any less annoying to others than House's anti-Sebastian tirades? House complains that Sebastian treats thousands of patients for the same thing, and that he knows the diagnosis going in. House says that's "cheating," as he carefully places lettuce over his steak so that he can cheat the cafeteria by only paying for a salad. The only time I've ever seen someone actually do that was in college. It's bad enough when rich private college kids rip off the system, but when it's a doctor, it's just pathetic. Somewhere between Season 1 and 2, they crossed the line between "refreshingly rude" and "annoying asshole" with House. I liked him better when the reason he was a jerk was that it would somehow help him figure out what was wrong with his patients. Cuddy walks up and tells House that he has "outdone" himself. He thinks she's talking about the steak theft, but she's actually referring to Cecilia, who just went crying to Cuddy over the rude and rushed treatment she received from Dr. House. House asks Cuddy if she would be acting like this if a patient complained about another doctor, like, oh, let's say...Foreman. Cuddy admits that she wouldn't, and then orders House to apologize to Cecilia.