Tell Him Something Pretty

Episode Report Card
admin: A+ | 7 USERS: A-
Tell Him Something Pretty

Aunt Lou is brushing down some boots in her room at the hotel when Richardson comes in wearing his Sunday best needing help with his tie. She puts it around her own neck to tie it, and hands over his boots so that he can complete his fancy voting ensemble. "You gon' vote for Mr. Bullock, now," she reminds him. Richardson: "Even though he beat Mr. Farnum 'cause he took you-know-who by his ear?" Aunt Lou says that there aren't many brave enough to have done it. "Anyways," Richardson says, changing the subject, "Harry Manning gives me splinters." Aunt Lou looks at him in confusion and asks how he does that. "Raising the windows after he's et," he says. Heeee! Can this show not go one episode without a fart joke? Damn. I love it. Lou agrees. "South had that man's gas to load in their cannons," she says, "wouldn't be no free n*ggers nowhere." Richardson tacks on his own punchline: "Noah hisself would have throwed him out the boat." They laugh it up like it's Showtime at the Apollo, and somewhere in Hollywood, Cedric the Entertainer is furiously copying down these lines. She proudly sends him off to vote, admiring him in his suit and saying he looks fine. Richardson tips his hat and says "thank yeewww." I'll miss him terribly.

In the thoroughfare, all sorts of election infractions are going on. The Democratic slate has set up a free drinks table, and the Original Shit Stirrer is offering up gratis booze. Some of Hearst's stupid goons are on hand, as well, and begin harassing the NG, who has just entered the line, making monkey noises at him. Hate. The OSS jumps to his defense, reminding them that the Fifteenth Amendment has been in effect for a while, now. The Pinkerton sasses back that the NG broke in line in front of a white man. (This white man happens to be Richardson, who tries to make himself invisible.) The NG, natch, tries to smooth it all over, saying he'll just wait until later, but Charlie, who is looking on, won't hear of it. "Fuck if you will," Charlie snaps. "Get your n*gger ass back in line." The Pinkergoon attempts, foolishly, to get in Charlie's face about it, saying he hopes Charlie will be on hand to walk the NG home and stupidly pulling on his own collar, the international symbol for "lynch mob." But today's not the day, asshole, to mess with Chuck U. "You'd better see to that yourself," Charlie says, not even bothering to raise his voice, "'cause if he don't make it, you'll be eating your spuds running 'til I hunt you the fuck down." The OSS claps a hand on the NG's shoulder declaring that that ends that. "[Yeah], what your shit-stirring started," Charlie gripes at him, and frankly, if that's not a shout-out, what is? I mean, I have only been calling the guy that since he first appeared on the scene -- I swear to God, if there are damn Deadwood people reading these recaps and you've never shot me an e-mail...thirty-six recaps of endless love, right here! Don't leave me hanging.

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