Supernatural

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admin: B | 5 USERS: B-
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The Hardy Boys: It's What's (Almost) For Dinner

Jenkins takes a break from stuffing the sausage in his mouth to explain that they feed him once a day, and that "that thing over there" opens the gates to the cages. He continues on, telling Sam that he's waiting for "Ned Beatty time, man." Sam thinks he's a raging homophobe because, ultimately, a straight guy thinking that his violent kidnapping was motivated by his own hot ass is pretty much textbook homophobia. Jenkins meets Sam's skepticism by asking, "What do you think they want then?" Well, Jenkins, I think even most country folk looking for a good time realize that the internet is a lot more convenient and satisfying than byzantine kidnapping rituals. But Jenkins keeps on readying his homosexual panic defense by reminding Sam that they're dealing with "a bunch of psycho hillbilly rednecks lookin' for love in all the wrong places." In Northern Minnesota. Riiiight. I can't wait until Jenkins bites it. Meanwhile, Sam is actually trying to escape from his cage.

Officer Hottie and Dean driving down a road at night. She exposits that the suspicious pick-up truck must have pulled off the main road somewhere within the fifty miles separating the two traffic cameras she checked. This means that they have to drive around the private roads attached to the "backwoods properties" around there. The computer in her cruiser beeps, and she glances down to find a message displayed. As anyone with access to a pause button can see, the message mentions nothing about the badge Dean showed her having been stolen, but Officer Hottie pulls the car over to confront Dean about his lies. I can't believe I've become the sort of person to deride a television show for inaccuracies on a throw-away, displayed-for-a-split-second prop. I mean, who cares? Sadly, me. Before Dean can backpedal, Officer Hottie turns the computer screen toward him to show him the picture of Officer Washington, who happens to be a big black man. Dean remains our favorite weasel, however, and tries to charm his way out: "I lost some weight. And I got that Michael Jackson skin disease." Oh, too easy, that laugh. Officer Hottie starts to pull her gun, and asks him to step out of the car.Dean turns the charm up to puppies and babies level and tells her that he'll happily let her arrest him after they find Sam. Then Wimpy pops up behind him and squeaks, "I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today!" Officer Hottie tells him there's no way for her to even know if "this Sam person is missing." Dean responds by asking her to "look into my eyes and tell me if I'm lying about this." Ah, yes, this ALWAYS works on the ladies on the force. I think this, along with the terrible problem of menstruation in the trenches, is exactly the kind of thing Newt Gingrich was talking about when he spoke out against women in the armed forces. The terrorists can just charm them into letting them escape! Sigh. Aren't women so preciously gullible? Dean's eyes water as he continues, telling Officer Hottie about how he's responsible for keeping Sam safe, finishing with "Please. He's my family." I'm just always so moved when we find out -- as we do in EVERY SINGLE EPISODE -- that the brothers really love each other, even when it sometimes seems that they don't. Officer Hottie tells him that she has to take him in, glances slowly at a photograph of her and a smiling young man pinned to her sun visor, and then clarifies, "After we find Sam Winchester."

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Supernatural

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