The Blackout Part I: Tragedy Porn

Episode Report Card
admin: C+ | 8 USERS: A-
Even God Hates This Show

Neal leaves the office and walks into Dr. Dr. Sloan. He asks her if it would be okay with her if, for the sake of a story, he went on the Internet and made misogynistic comments about her. Why do that on the Internet when you can build an entire HBO series around misogynistic statements? Neal is aiming too low here. Dr. Dr. Sloan asks for specifics, and Neal comes up with one that claims Dr. Dr. Sloan "screwed her way to the top" and has a big ass. Dr. Dr. Sloan slams Neal into a wall and angrily asks him if it's true that she has a big ass. She's fine with the allegation that she screwed her way to the top, but the big ass comment gets her? I hate this show. Dr. Dr. Sloan does not give Neal permission to troll her. Neal tries to make her feel better (I think?) by saying that lots of guys like women with junk in the trunk, which earns him another shove into the wall and Dr. Dr. Sloan insecurely asking if that's true. God, listen to some Sir Mix-a-Lot, genius.

Martin gets a call from a woman with Weiner wiener photos. Jim is utterly disgusted with this story and this woman and hands it off to the next person in charge, who, it turns out, is Kendra. Kendra quickly passes it down to Gary Cooper, who goes to Tess, who throws it to Julie Cooper. Julie Cooper objects, saying she and Tess were hired on the same day. "I was hired in the morning. You were hired after lunch," Tess says. "Please don't make me take the Weiner girl," Julie Cooper groans. "Respect the seniority!" Tess says. Um, can we get rid of almost everyone else on this show and just keep those two? They are great. I want them to have a delightful sitcom where they are roommates in an apartment and they have a quirky neighbor who looks a lot like Rodney Dangerfield. Dr. Dr. Sloan can guest star occasionally. I would've put her in the main cast but then she had to go be all violently insecure about the size of her butt.

Julie Cooper looks around for someone she has seniority over and finds Maggie. HA!! Maggie is the lowest of the low! I'm pretty sure that makes her, like, the Deanna Troi of NewsNight. She was the last in the chain of command on Star Trek: The Next Generation, right? I'd ask people but I don't want them to think I'm a nerd who watches Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Terry Crews is still on this show even though we haven't heard anything about Will's death threat in like three episodes and two months of show time. He walks Will into his psychiatrist's office. Will doesn't have an appointment, but he is more important than everyone else so he feels comfortable barging in and interrupting someone else's appointment. Even Terry Crews thinks Will is being an asshole here. Jack finally opens his door after Will knocks on it for several minutes. He looks kind of annoyed, for some reason. Will says Jack can give him a few non-scheduled minutes because he paid him and his father all that money for four year's of appointments he didn't actually attend. Somehow, that works.

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