Episode Report Card
admin: D- | 5 USERS: B-
The Hardy Boys Make It A Manwitch Night

Cellar, and if it's Thursday, Darling Sammy's getting choked, and if this episode did not blow, and if I did not want to die, this development would be very exciting indeed, but this episode does blow, and I do want to die, so everyone involved in this misbegotten abomination can just drop fucking dead for all I care. In any event, The Longtime Companion tugs at The Manwitch's arm, screaming that she herself is responsible for the betrayal, and if I gave a shit about either of these characters that we've never seen before and shall never see again after this evening, I'm sure I'd find the Moment Fraught With Significance that they subsequently share with one another most touching in the extreme, but I don't, so I don't, so we'll be heading back...

...topside, where Old Dean and Blockheaded Bobby puzzle through various explanations for the vanquish's failure until one or the other -- or possibly both, but I'm not rewinding to check, so there -- realizes the toothpick must be at fault, so they resolve to break back into The Manwitch's tony high-rise condominium to secure a different sample of The Cypriot Leprechaun's DNA. Um. Correction: Because the elevator at The Manwitch's tony high-rise condominium has been shut down for repairs, Old Dean will break back in to secure a different sample of The Cypriot Leprechaun's DNA after Old Dean climbs thirty-seven flights of stairs. With his bum ticker. Which I do not care about, because of that whole angel-condom thing Dim Dean's got going on this season, and this episode blows, and I want to die, and did you get all of that? Good.

The Cellar Of My Boring Blockheaded Doom And Despair. I think Sam just lost another hand. Next!

Lair Of The Manwitch. It's spotless, despite witches' well-documented facility for spewing bodily fluids everywhere they go. Darn. Whatever shall they dzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

The Cellar Of My Boring Blockheaded Doom And Despair. The Cypriot Leprechaun once again attempts to psych Darling Sammy out, and there's blather about playing the percentages versus going all in, but it turns out Darling Sammy was bluffing, and as I noted in the recaplet, if I gave a rat's ass about shitty reruns of Celebrity Poker Showdown, I'd watch Bravo, but to hell with all that, because it's time for...

...Old Dean's long-awaited and utterly irrelevant coronary, which leaves Old Dean gasping for breath on the plush pile carpeting up in The Lair Of The Manwitch just as...

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