The Final Four: No Regrets

Episode Report Card
admin: B- | Grade It Now!
Fallen Comrats

Now the S4 are all seated on the same rock on the mountaintop. Lex Loser tells us that, at this point, the game is suddenly "all about winning." Because for the other thirty-eight days it's about great food, good company, and physical fitness. He says, "Dammit, I am gonna walk away with that prize!" That's exactly what Richard Hatch said in Pulau Tiga, and look what happened to him. Aside from being arrested for child abuse, that is. Now it's just the three men sitting together while Kimj is off somewhere applying Harness Honey Leather Conditioner to her luggage...or maybe that's sunscreen to her skin. In any case, then she's back -- softer-looking, too -- and holding hands with Tom. Lex Loser continues, "I am here for one thing and one thing only: to take that million dollars and to run with it. It's mine." Or Ethan's.

A creepy-looking bird. "Kumba-yay!" must mean "It's almost over" in Swahili. The S4 strut about camp and find a torch bearing a message in their treemail. Lex Loser reads the clue: "Names of dogs, college degrees, I hope you paid attention. You may just be the next to go if your memory lacks retention." Rhyming "attention" and "retention" is quite the accomplishment for the Survivor poets. Kimj licks her lips, and Tom looks perplexed. Ethan nibbles on his fingers, and then points and says, with a straight face, "What's your name again?" He's Deadpan Man. Tom's more likely to be Bedpan Man. That's not an age comment -- it's all about the lifestyle.

With wind-blown hair, Ethan tells us that they'll have to answer questions about the remaining members of Mofo Maji, as well as the members of the jury. He tells us that whoever gets the most answers right will win immunity. Which is good, because that's usually the way games work. Tom remembers Hunter and Sage, but asks Lex Loser the name of Frank's third child. Lex Loser claims not to know. Bastard. And if it turns out that Lex Loser is indeed a bastard, please spare me the email commentary on my lack of political correctness. I mean no harm by it. In fact, some of my best friends are bastards. (And incidentally, the dictionary lists a third definition for "shifty" as "able to accomplish what is needed; resourceful." Of course, that's what I meant last week.) In a confessional, Tom says of the challenge, "That's another mental game and, uh, I'm not that strong in that game." Tom asks Ethan the same question about Frank's child's name while they appear to be stretching; Ethan pauses and says he has no idea, either. He then worries in a confessional that if he gets a question wrong about one of the jurors who he's "supposedly close with," that juror might think he was just not genuinely interested. Who does Ethan think he is "supposedly close with," anyway? As they look at a torch that has the names "Teddy" and "Danielle" written on it, Ethan, Lex Loser, and Tom agree that Kimj is going to be strong in the challenge. Ted, Jr. is one of Kimj's sons. I don't know who Danielle is. Lex Loser tells us in a confessional that he thinks Kimj has the best chance of winning the challenge because she's got a good mind for facts, good retention, and has taken a genuine interest in everybody. Or in other words: because she's just got to be good at something.

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