Miracles
The Friendly Skies

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Please extinguish all smoking nurses

Then the autopsy on Passenger 13B begins, with Charlie saying, "So any idea what in God's name happened here," like, yeah, the show's called Miracles -- the characters don't have to always be mentioning God every two minutes to remind us. "That's what we're about to find out," says the doctor, turning on one of those little circular saw things.

In the arrivals lounge, the same dude from before is flagging down the PR woman to ask about his wife, since she is "profoundly disabled" and she's traveling with her nurse and he needs to know she's all right. "We're doing everything we can, Mr. Longrich," she says, and walks off, and he's all, "It's Longview!"

Now we're watching the make-out couple again, and if someone could explain what exactly is so weird here, I'd appreciate it. I mean, they didn't see the future or Satan or start speaking in tongues. Although they are kind of annoying, giggling and babbling about "pinecones and pineapples."

Then we get the scary close-up on the mouth of the steward again, still babbling away, and we hear talk about "elevated alpha waves" and high blood pressure. Keel notices that they're using two video cameras, and is told that's in case one breaks down. Hmmm -- I wonder if that's going to turn out to be important. Keel then just grabs this handheld tape recorder from one of the government guys -- rather rudely, I might add -- and tapes the babbling flight attendant, then plays it back a little slower. "You know the language?" asks Charlie. "I believe he's speaking Aramaic," says Keel. "Like Jesus?" says Charlie, since this is Miracles, after all. "Not from what he's saying," says Keel, who never gives a straight answer to anybody.

Deanna Thompson recounts her sad life. She gets married at twenty-two to Glen Thompson, who didn't do too well in school, but his uncle gets him a job with the county. And they save up all year for a trip to the Grand Canyon, but Ethan and Allie -- their two kids -- are carsick the whole way. "I know I'm supposed to love them, but they're really difficult," she says. Evelyn makes a sad face.

Karen tells the story of her honeymoon -- her husband had said they couldn't really afford to go anywhere, and then surprised her with a ski trip to the Swiss Alps. She was on her ski team in college, so she was showing off a bit when she "lost it" and hit the lift tower. "That was twenty-one years ago," she says, the realization of that just striking her. "Mark never blinked. He's taken care of me all these years," when she couldn't do anything for herself. "That's why I have to see him, and tell him," she says. "What do you want to tell him?" asks Skeet. "That I know…every time he touches my face or he brushes my hair or he bathes me, I know how much he loves me." Skeet looks really uncomfortable as she starts to cry and blubber about what a good man her husband is. "I've never been able to tell him how much I love him!" Skeet offers her a hanky, like, nice try, Skeet. She tries to smile, since she's actually happy, and says she can't wait to see her husband. "You will," says Skeet, effectively telling us that the condition is going to wear off. Nice going, Skeet. Suddenly, she wants to know where Joyce, her nurse, is. "She hates flying. She's always afraid the plane is going to crash and we'll all burn to death." A little light bulb goes off over Skeet's head as he excuses himself, after noticing that Karen was seated in 13A. Karen happily taps her feet.

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Miracles

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