The Friendly Skies

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admin: B- | Grade It Now!
Please extinguish all smoking nurses

The doctor is weighing the crispy critter's gooey heart when Skeet comes running in so he can see the tag reminding everybody that this woman was sitting in 13B, even though we're all way ahead of Skeet on this one. A soldier strolls up to Skeet. "You can't be here," he says. So why didn't anybody stop him, then? And the soldier says, "Move or I'll move you," and Skeet agrees but doesn't move, so soldier-boy drags him away.

And Deanna is blabbing on about wanting to go back to school, but then Glen gets laid off so she takes a second job instead, and how Evelyn is managing to stay awake is beyond me. "On my thirty-ninth birthday, my father dies of lung cancer," she says. Evelyn says she's going to go get them some water, and then totally bails on her.

The steward has finally shut up, as Keel translates what he was saying to a guy typing up a transcript, with phrases like "all matter is held in place" and "if this frequency is disrupted" on the screen. Keel wanders over to the steward. "How you doing, Phil?" he asks, and Phil answers in Aramaic. "I think we can let him out of this jacket now," Keel tells Charlie, so they release him, and Keel notices a Medic Alert bracelet for epilepsy. Then Charlie is reading aloud about "modulating frequencies" and such from the transcript and asking Keel what the guy's talking about. Keel says he thinks the guy is using one of the world's oldest languages to "express certain theoretical projections of modern physics." "Like what?" says Charlie. "Cold fusion, perpetual motion…" says Keel, scanning the transcript. Something seems to catch his eye, but he just finishes with "…et cetera." Charlie wonders aloud what the hell happened up there.

And then Keel's snagged Skeet and Emily and is shoving them into a janitor's room for a clandestine meeting, figuring he's only got a couple of minutes before Charlie starts looking for them. He has a theory as to what happened up there. "I think that each of those passengers brought their own individual experience to the phenomenon they encountered," he says, which Skeet says would explain why they all experienced different things. Evelyn relates Deanna's sad tale and how she saw her future after talking with the steward about what she wanted to be when she grew up. And Skeet lets them in on the Cajun-blackened nurse who was skared to death of burning up, and Keel babbles about the passengers being in a "higher realm where consciousness determines reality." Skeet says Karen was dreaming what she always does, that she could walk and talk. And I think that on an airplane, if everybody got what they happened to be thinking about at the time, I imagine most of them would have received an entire can of pop without having to ask specifically for the whole can from the stewardess. ["I'd be ripping the seal off a pack of Dunhills, myself." -- Sars] Evelyn asks Keel about the flight attendant speaking in tongues, and Keel explains that ancient mathematicians used to speak in metaphors when their concepts became too unwieldy. He hopes he's the only one who's noticed it, but he believes the steward has discovered a cutting-edge physics, "one that our military leaders would dearly love to get their hands on," a methodology for "disassembling reality." What are you saying? asks Evelyn. "I'm saying that flight attendant knows how to destroy the world," says Keel. Everybody makes The Skeet Face.

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