House

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New Kids On The Block

I guess they should realize that Lee Harvey Oswald did act alone, as we cut to the group in the PPTH parking lot washing House's car. Wheelchair Guy, who isn't doing any work at all, gripes that he did not "bust [his] ass in med school" to wash some guy's car. Well, really, Wheelchair Guy, you didn't bust your ass at all. You got to sit down the whole time, you lucky duck. 18 doesn't think it's such a big deal to wash a car for half an hour, saying they get to learn from "one of the best diagnosticians in the world" in exchange for a little elbow grease, but Anne Dudek disagrees. She says that since they aren't the ones doing any medical tests or breaking into patient's houses, they're already as good as fired. House will just give them the news after they've washed his car. She angrily tosses her sponge down and throws off her number, saying she's out of here. She urges the others to follow, and all of them except 18 do. I guess he just likes washing cars.

Outside Pilot's home -- which I'm expecting to be some kind of mansion, based on the incredible pay she gets as an Air Force captain that gives her fifty thousand dollars to throw around -- the three unlucky Numbers try to figure out how to break in. Cute Guy Number 10 offers Old Guy 26 a hand onto some garbage dumpsters to break into Pilot's window, but Old Guy says he pulled a muscle in 1987 and isn't up to such physical exertion. I'm guessing he pulled that muscle laughing at the outrageously funny antics of Balki on Perfect Strangers. "Don't be ridiculous," am I right?? Borat's got nothing on Balki! 2 is full of bitterness, telling everyone she had to repeat two years of medical school because America doesn't trust medical schools in other countries. Although if she really didn't want to do that, couldn't she have just practiced medicine in her own country? It's not like she flew to America and they surprised her with the two extra years of med school and put a gun to her head to take them. She doesn't want to waste the extra education by getting deported for burglary, but she hops onto the garbage dumpsters anyway. Old Guy asks them to unlock the front door and let him in when they get inside, to which 10 says that this is a competition, so he and his pulled muscle can stay outside. 10, the AARP is going to hunt your ass down for this.

Anne Dudek returns to House's car, where 18 is dutifully cleaning the same exact tiny section of it that he's been cleaning for the last ten minutes now, and she says she never intended to quit -- she just wanted to make everyone else do it. Oooh, look at Little Miss Richard Hatch over there! Is that joke still relevant now that he's in jail, though? Anyway, Anne Dudek tells 18 they're going to take the car to a proper car wash since she somehow stole House's keys. Ew. I'd rather wash the car myself than pay for a car wash. Those things are expensive and, if it's the kind you drive through yourself, kinda scary.

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House

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