The Script & The Sherpa

Episode Report Card
admin: C+ | Grade It Now!
Meat Is Murder

"The story is about a boy in New York, from the neighborhood," says Scott Wick, but it's too late, he's in the Vince parlor of spidery sex, and Wick says further that Vince just doesn't "feel like" these things, even though he is those things. He's just Vince-Lo from the Block. My favorite part of that song is when she's all how being legit, for her? "Is like breathing." Eric asks Wick where Vince "feels" like he's from and the whole time Vince's eyes are locked on Wick and it's awesome because he's all, "Wouldn't you like to know where I feel like," and Wick's awesome because he looks directly at Vince and says, "I don't know. The Appalachians?" It's pretty funny. Vince gives one good eye-stroke, then looks down, smoothes his right eyebrow with a middle finger, and refuses to look up as he talks. This is totally Vince's best scene ever. Adrian Grenier, I'm sorry I called you "lifelike." This rules. "With all due respect, I grew up a block [HA! See! To him it's like breathing!] from where this script takes place, in a shitty little apartment with five brothers and sisters and a psychotically drunk father. I am this part."

But so watch this next part, because the next thing he says is, "This isn't going anywhere, is it, Scottie?" And they look all smolderingly at each other and Wick's like, "Not really," so Vince decides to order an extra rib eye steak to go. Wow. Between taking this guy for a couple hundred dollars' worth of doggie bag items and throwing him the finger, he's either asking to get stabbed with a steak knife or really going balls-out to make this old man love him forever. I can't tell, and neither can Wick, and it's so, so awesome. Wick's like, the fuck you are. "Are you high?" Aye, there's the rub. That Entourage rub. I know it well. But soft, it doesn't suck just yet. "Actually, I am. Is that a problem?" And I can't tell what he's even going for here, but it's sexy as hell, the way he says it; it's totally fuck-you and aggro with the strength of five Aris. I have rediscovered the love of Adrian that made me sit through Drive Me Crazy in the theatre the last night of its run. And now you know my worst secret ever.

"Where'd you get it?" asks Wick, and FUCKING FUCK because they start talking about blah blah blah hash-cakes and Eric's still so far behind that they're lapping him at this point and flirting outrageously at the same time but I'm still disappointed because they won, not with words and smarts, but with pot. And a little bit of ass. But mostly pot, because again? THERE'S NO POT ANYWHERE IN TIME OR SPACE. But Vince is still my total hero. Unless (and this isn't out of the question for this awful show) the gay eye sex is just patter and the real brilliance of Vince's performance is about the pot all along and acting weird enough that Wick would ask the stock "Are you high?" that is always so hilarious and then he could say yes I am is that a problem and then there would be egaruotnE and pot and the script. Either way, I'm pleased with this scene. Immensely. This and the Ari/Sarah Silverman scene I can't seem to shut up about. "What are we talking about here? Are we talking about the script, or about pot?" asks Eric, all scandalized and shit, and Wick -- lost to anything but Vince's eyes, and the eyes of one Mary Jane Weedster -- giggles girlishly, "Maybe both, E. Maybe both." And then his eyes and Vince's eyes jump out of their heads on the table and start doing stuff I've only ever seen on scrambled cable late at night.

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