The Sole Survivor

Episode Report Card
admin: B- | Grade It Now!
Goodbye, Scuttling Crabs!

Peachy says there's no argument that Neleh and Vecepia played better than the others, because they're the ones sitting there in the final two, while the others are not. And now it's time to commence with the voting. Peachy makes sure that the jury hasn't talked to each other, and I can't for a second believe that they haven't, but they claim to have kept quiet amongst themselves. ["I think I heard somewhere that they had to sign something that would allow CBS to sue them if they talked amongst themselves about their votes." -- Wing Chun] Again, Peachy explains that the voting methodology is different now: the S2 want to hear their names read. There are seven votes, so four are needed to win. In addition to the million, the victor will take home a brand-new Saturn Vue in the "color of [her] choice!" and the title of "Survivor." Neleh and Vecepia giggle nervously and clutch at each other, and then the camera pans to some Eminem-looking man in the audience who appears to be doing antics with his t-shirt. ["I think that was Neleh's brother; he had the same Jughead Jones nose." -- Wing Chun]

The first and second votes are for Vecepia, which results in shouting from the audience and hugging between the S2. The third, fourth, and fifth votes are for Neleh, and I notice that she and Vecepia are rubbing up against each other. What's that all about? Zoe's vote elicits laughter, although I don't know why, since everyone -- including Vecepia and Neleh -- already saw what she wrote. Vecepia receives another vote, so now it's tied three to three, and the next vote will reveal the winner. Neleh squeals, and Vecepia covers her face, while Peachy insists that it "can't get any tighter." Peachy looks at the vote, smiles, and says. "The winner of Survivor Marquesas..." and then flips the vote around to reveal Vecepia's name. Vecepia falls off her stool and lies on the ground on her stomach kicking and flailing about. Sean runs over to help her up and hug her, and John joins them, as does Neleh. The others gradually trickle over as well, either to lend their congratulations or get some more camera time. We see Vecepia's family in the stands celebrating their new fortune. We also see hugging among the jury, because people on this show like to hug. Everybody hugs everybody, but mostly Sean hugs Vecepia, and I hope she loves him as much as he loves her, and manages to toss some funds -- or at least a new hat -- his way. They clutch at each other and yell "God is good!" while pumping their fists in the air. Then the rest of the S16 appear and act like anyone even remembers who they are anymore. More hugging follows, except for Peter Pandit, who totally lurks around awkwardly in the background. Peachy then hunches over as he squelches Neleh's torch. Yay!

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