The Spanish Teacher

Episode Report Card
admin: C- | Grade It Now!
Livin' La Vida Lima

"Complaints?!" Sue shrieks the minute we join her in Figgins's office. "Who's complaining about my teaching style?" Alas, The Maharishi is not at liberty to divulge that information, but he does note that, combined with The Cheerios' poor showing at Nationals last year, these anonymous complaints mean Sue can no longer assume Mrs. Hagberg's magically transferable tenure is hers. The Maharishi also takes this opportunity to introduce Sue to "the talented and charming Olympian" NeNe Leakes, and thus begins the much-awaited showdown between Sue Sylvester and Roz Washington. Mz. Roz had stopped by with some "constructive criticism" regarding Sue's "lagging" cheerleading squad, which of course does not sit well with Sweet Sue. "Why should I listen to this woman give me notes about my Cheerios?" Sue glowers. "This school," Mz. Roz replies, rising regally to her full height, "got cheerleaders doing broke-ass moves from the 1950s." "Why don't you just admit that you're past your competitive edge?" Mz. Roz boldly continues, utterly impervious to Sweet Sue's withering glare. "And let this young, bronze medal winner add some ka-ronk to the badonkadonk?" The Maharishi is visibly aroused.

Music Room. Santana photogenically fiddles with a set of maracas until Mr. Schue bursts in to announce the theme for this week's musical selections: "Songs written or performed by someone Latin or of Latin descent, or English songs performed bilingually." "Though I love that we're finally getting a Lima Sound Machine in here," Santana brazenly interrupts, "why now?" Mr. Schue starts in with an explanation related, I'm sure, to that brilliant idea he stumbled across in The Teachers' Lounge After Dark all those many scenes ago, but let's cut to the chase, shall we? Ricky Martin And His Hair bound in from the hallway, and all of the children -- and I do mean all of them -- instantly find themselves smitten, even though Ricky Martin And His Hair almost immediately begin lecturing them on that whole duende thing that none of them are going to ever remember again because they're all too busy staring at Ricky Martin's adorably animated coif, and then Ricky Martin And His Hair launch themselves into a loin-stirring rendition of "Sexy And I Know It" by something called LMFAO. I don't know the original at all, and from what I've watched of the video, I don't particularly want to know the original at all, ever, so I don't have a whole lot to say about this performance, other than that it certainly does look like everyone involved had quite the jolly time filming it. And when it's over, Mr. Schue claps a hand on Ricky Martin's back while offering him a few congratulatory words in badly mangled Spanish before we all head into this evening's first commercial break.

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