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The Replacements

Smear sideways to said English class. There's a band, and three backup singers clustered around an old-timey microphone. And then we see Holly, singing "Conjunction Junction." Out in the audience... I mean, "class," Kurt is sitting next to some long-haired stoner in an army surplus jacket who asks him if he's on anything, because apparently being high would make you appreciate Ms. Holliday's performance that much more. Kurt: "You smell homeless, Brett. Homeless." Before we smear back to the present, two quick observations. First, if these kids are just learning about conjunctions in high school, the Lima public schools are in worse shape than we ever imagined. Second, I assume that Holly brought those backup singers to school with her. Because if they were students, someone should have recruited them to join the Glee Club a long time ago. And really, hiring your own backup singers shows remarkable dedication to being a substitute teacher.

In the present, Holly Holliday accepts Kurt's offer to take over the Glee Club. If I were them, I probably would have consulted Principal Sue before making that official. Of course, if I were them, this entire scene would be taking place in a law firm and it would be a lot less fun. Also, if I were them, I'd apparently have multiple personality disorder. So, all-in-all, it's probably good that I'm not them.

Music room. Someone is on his hands and knees... scrubbing the floor? Oh, it's Puck. And he's buttering the floor in anticipation of the substitute, as he informs Finn. [Butter on the floor. Seriously? What about psychological abuse? What about dipping her pigtails in an inkwell? What year is this? - Gustave] Finn thinks they should focus on getting ready for Sectionals instead of pranking the sub, but the other kids disagree -- Artie tells him that everyone plans to swap names. Rachel walks in and slips on the butter. And then Holly Holliday walks in, strides up to the butter patch, and effortlessly glides across it. They're impressed. And then they laugh when Kurt walks in behind her and falls on his ass. Ms. Holliday introduces herself and asks for the kids' names. Puck introduces himself as Finn, Santana introduces herself as Rachel ("his loud, loud girlfriend"), and Brit-Brit introduces herself as Mike Chang. To which Mike gives a vigorous nod of the head. Holly knows they are lying, because she "recently watched a video of you guys performing at Regionals. Where you came in last." She thinks it might have had something to with the age of their music. Finn defends the Journey songs they sang as classics, and she agrees -- but she still thinks they "sounded like somebody else's favorite songs."

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