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The Replacements

The Principal's Den of Diary-writing. Sue is writing in her journal: "Humiliation. Bested by the Bieste, less than 24 hours after my plan to replace all chairs in the school with sharp poles was thwarted. A resounding defeat in my war against sitting. Reality is, I'm a champion, and once I get power, I do not let it go. I need a cause." With that, she looks up and sees two obese students sharing a brownie. She gets on the intercom and calls for Becky to come into her office. Becky, wearing a bluetooth headset and holding a notebook, runs in. Sue tells her to take a memo: "I'm banning potater tots." Becky: "Outstanding." Wait, is Sue ignorant of the correct name of the food in question, or is "tater tots" a trademarked name? Should I fear the tater tot lobby?

Soundstage. Er, I mean, "auditorium stage." Will enters the room and is greeted by an overly enthusiastic Mike Chang, who tells him that they can't win Sectionals without him. Will agrees, and then tells Mike, "Now, I'm gonna run through a number here. And after a bit, I want you to join in. Got it?" Mike Chang does got it. And then Will sings "Make 'Em Laugh." And after a few seconds, Mike Chang does join in -- but only on the dancing. And if it wasn't clear that this was a fever-induced fantasy when it started, it becomes clear when they start physically abusing poor Tinkles and walking across his piano keys. Because if this was the real world, he would never put up with that shit. But both the singing and dancing are great. And they finish, as one does, by running up the walls and then running through one. And then Will is woken from his dream by the sound of the doorbell.

Cut to Will, sitting on his couch and asks his visitor exactly how Holly Holliday got authority to take over Glee Club. We can't understand the answer, because Rachel (who is the visitor) is wearing a surgical mask. And has apparently stuffed her mouth with chewing gum. But she can't stand not being understood, so she rips off the mask to tell him the story of Kurt's rebellion against her iron-fisted but beneficent rule. Will tells her he's not particularly worried about someone taking over temporarily, because the kids love him. Rachel reminds him that Sue doesn't.

Smear sideways to the Principal's office. Sue and Holly, with foils in their hair, are sitting on a leather couch, drinking red wine, and watching television. Sue is so happy to finally have someone fun to hang out with at the school. They both agree that "Hoarders is great, but Animal Hoarders is better." Holly: "Hoarders and red wine, I'm buzzzzed." Through the omnipresent glass walls, we see Rachel staring on in horror.

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