Alias
The Two

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Mr. Sandman, bring me a clue

Syd's about as gullible as I am, and she declares that she doesn't buy one single word of Sloane's story. She bolts before her pressurized tears can escape their ducts. Then she goes to a pay phone and makes a bunch of phone calls, all in different languages, all to different people. We can only assume she's trying all of her old contacts. She finally reaches one, Bernard, and meets him out at a restaurant.

She tells him that she tried over two dozen contacts, and that he was the only one still active. He's all, esscoooze me for being the looking like the shocking to you, but I wassss believing in the that you were with the dead! Yeah, it's that bad of an impression of broken English. "I was," she says wryly. "But now I'm not." Bernard just chuckles and lights a cigarette. "Zis is why I love zis business." No, Bernard. Zis is why we love Alias. Because people die all the time, only to come back five to ten episodes later.

So, Syd wants info on the Volkov dude. Bernard looks like Syd just shoved wet rabbit up his arse. Back at Oops Center, Head's walking purposefully down the hall as Director Dix intercepts him and demands to know why Head had Syd classified as an enemy of the state. (Great movie, by the way. Nothing like watching Gene Hackman act circles around Will Smith while Will Smith makes Gene Hackman look like the most humorless person since Hitler.) Head's all, your operative ran, dude. That's an enemy of the state in my book. Dix is all, this is why I didn't want to send her out in the first place, you plebian. We should be helping her, not hindering her. Head's all, oh, yeah, whatever. I'm only gonna be around for another episode or so, so I'm going to make the most outta this role. And I believe I asked for the hand job, Russell. Whatever. There's more angry back-and-forth between Head and Dix, but no real resolution occurs, other than Dix demanding they use their resources to locate her, Head sneering, "Oh, we'll locate her," and Dix shouting, "I want her back in this office! Alive! Did you get that last part? I don't just want her back in the office, you know, dead and shit. Alive! Bring her back alive! And bring me back some pretzels from the cafeteria. This director job is giving me a raging jones for salty snack food."

Back with Bernie and Syd, he returns to their table and informs her that Volkov has a meeting scheduled tomorrow night in Prague, and that he's delivering something. Bernie has the address. Syd's all, do you know what he drives? Bernie's all, an armored sedan with a protective detail, of course. He goes on to say that if she wants to stop the car, she'll need backup. She's all, no I don't, thanks. But I will need some new threads and a killer car. Bernie's all, uh, why? Syd's all, because I've barely changed outfits in this episode and I haven't shown off my butt yet, dammit! It's time to bring the wigs out!

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Alias

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