Survivor
They’re Back!

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Tina Tumbles

There is musical yelling, and then we make our way to Mogo Mogo. There, everyone is negotiating with exaggerated diplomacy -- sort of the opposite of the Chapera attitude -- about where to put the shelter. Lex admits in an interview that he's been thinking about the game ever since its last day. I have to say, I think most of these people are the same way. These kinds of games attract very competitive people, and if you don't win, you spend every day of your life reliving what you think is the moment that lost you a million dollars. It doesn't surprise me to hear Lex say he's a little haunted by it. His tattoos still creep me out, though. I can't stop thinking "needles-needles-needles" every time I see him. Eck. ["Yeah, that dude is trying too hard to look like a bad-ass." -- Wing Chun]

Back at camp, Colby talks about the best way to build the shelter, and then in an interview, he comments, "No one's ever come back to play this game twice." That's right, you know. In the entire three-and-a-half years of this show's storied history, this has never happened! He talks about how the game is different psychologically, as we see Hatch with his arms around all the girls. Colby interviews that they all know "how bad it gets" and "how long this road is." Well, not all of them know how long the road is. Some of them know how long, like, half the road is. But anyway. Jenna interviews that they're all "morons" for returning to these horrible conditions and starving together. She should speak for herself, although in this case, I'd agree with her. Whether other people are morons or not, I certainly agree that Jenna is a moron, and ever was, and ever shall be. She and Kathy take a stroll on the beach, in which they hypothesize that Richard, Colby, and Lex are working on an alliance. Jenna has apparently abandoned her strategy of writing off older women as jealous, saggy losers, which I'm sure Kathy appreciates. As they talk, Shii Ann runs to catch up with them. She isn't a jealous, saggy loser either! She wants to come, too!

Back at Camp Mogo Mogo, the men discuss the fact that the girls are probably off making an alliance as they speak. In the course of this, Hatch calls Colby "honey." Then, in an interview in which he overenunciates everything in some kind of grand new quasi-accent, he explains that people are "paranoid," which is perhaps right where he wants them. As the Bassoon of Isn't He Clever honks in the background, Hatch says that he "ought to be [paranoid] as well," and then he dramatically makes a contemptuous little "pffft" noise. Hatch is rapidly going to learn -- or at least the rest of us are -- that a little bit of that goes a long way. He's in more danger than anyone else in this game so far of overplaying his gimmick to the point where he becomes a silly caricature, and the more he does that, the less likely I think he is to win. Guy's had a few too many people call him brilliant, I think. Meanwhile, Shii Ann mutters to Kathy that she thinks Colby and Lex have a plan. Kathy and Shii Ann get into this strategy talk a little bit, but as Kathy then interviews, they never think to look around and see if anybody's listening. Hatch, instead of taking advantage of what he now knows, would rather have the glory moment, so he comes out of the bushes and nyaah-nyaahs to Kathy that he just overheard their entire conversation. Kathy, chagrined, interviews that with all this revealed, she and Hatch returned to camp and got everything out of the way.

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Survivor

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