To Thine Own Self Be True

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To Thine Own Self Be True

Ava comforts Derrick, who is worried that he'll never see Martha again. Derrick asks about the naked picture, and Ava says that Johnny took it, and it was a crazy time in her life, and that it shouldn't have been in the house. And...scene.

Back at Spanish Cove, it's morning, and Bradin and Sarah are just waking up. They kiss with the abandon of young lovers who don't care about morning breath. Bradin asks what time it is, and Sarah guesses that it's about 8. I guess we're supposed to think that the sex was so good that, despite sleeping on wet sand with scratchy blankets, they both slept straight through until morning. Bradin jumps up and says that he's dead.

At the beach house, Ava knocks and enters Bradin and Derrick's room, but neither is there. Johnny and Jay are manfully playing football in the house. Ava rushes up in her hot pink tube top dress (huh?) and informs them that she just figured out that Bradin didn't come home last night. Man, my parents totally would have figured that out before the next morning, and then my dad would have been prowling the streets and calling my friends' houses trying to find me. Because my parents are good parents. Johnny and Jay think it's all good, and Ava asks what's going on. Jay and Johnny go all gigglepants as they tell Ava that Bradin had a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Nice of them to inform Ava that they had that whole condom discussion with Bradin, since she is Bradin's blood relative and ultimately the one in charge of him when Child Protective Services shows up. Bradin waltzes in and lies that it was so hot (Heat Index 6) that he fell asleep at the beach last night, as if that's an acceptable explanation. Johnny asks Bradin if he has any "change" (read: condoms) left from last night, and Bradin smiles and says no. Johnny and Jay start celebrating, which is so gross that I can't even fathom it, because if they were having this same conversation with Nikki in four years, you know they would not be celebrating in the same way. Pigs. Ava is outraged, and Jay asks if they were supposed to tell Bradin to abstain. Ava thinks they might have. Ava walks out, disgusted.

In his room, Bradin is all cheerfully playing the drums on his desk with the vigor of the newly devirginized. Ava comes in and Bradin quickly acts all bashful. Ava asks what happened last night, and Bradin says nothing. Ava tries to broach the subject of sex, and then asks Bradin to look at her, explaining that this is embarrassing for both of them. Bradin confirms that it did happen with Sarah. Ava says that Bradin is too young, and that he doesn't think so because he's too young. She adds that sex is different for girls. Oh, Lord. Ava explains that women have expectations and emotions surrounding sex. Because it's hard-wired into our breasts. We can't help ourselves. It's those pesky mammary glands. Then Ava actually says that Sarah has given Bradin "the most precious gift her body can give [him]." Way to push your antiquated notions of gender non-equity, Ava. She concludes that sex is not about conquest, which is about the only non-ooky thing she said in that whole speech. Maybe it is about conquest for Sarah. How does Ava know? Bradin says that he likes Sarah a lot, and Ava asks if they were safe. Bradin says that they used protection. Ava says that condoms only work 90% of the time, although the sites that I found said that they work 97% of the time when used perfectly. Given that no one gave Bradin any instruction, I don't know if he used it perfectly, and we're also assuming that Sarah isn't on the Pill or using another method, and just wanted to use condoms for disease prevention. Bradin asks what he's supposed to do, and Ava asks him to talk to her. Bradin asks if she talked to her parents about sex, and Ava laughs, and then says that she just wants them to keep talking, no matter how embarrassing it gets. Bradin agrees. Ava tears up and says that she held Bradin as a baby. Bradin gets all embarrassed and tells her to stop it. Ava asks him to be careful, and Bradin promises that he will, so I'm predicting a pregnancy-scare storyline coming down the pike. Also, Bradin has a framed photo of Sarah on his desk. When did she give him that? During the three days they hung out together a few weeks ago?

Nikki uses a Q-tip to clean the front window of the surf shop, to buy herself more time to spy on Goofy. Erica walks up and says that the window is extremely clean, and then walks away. Amber totally busts Nikki spying on them, and walks over and accuses Nikki of spying. Nikki claims that she's working, and then accuses Amber of being pathetic for getting a job with Goofy just to hang out with him. Amber says that she worked there first, and Goofy joined her. Erica walks over and gets Nikki to help her in the back room as Amber flounces off. Erica tells Nikki that "suspicion is a self-fulfilling prophecy" and brings up Othello as an example, because Erica is apparently in some sort of Beach Great Books program.

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