Smallville
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Think Unsexy Thoughts

Dido continues to sing chocolate chip cookies while KentFan breaks into The Torch. There's shaky camera movement. KentFan starts hunting through drawers. She looks through shelves and files. She finds a drawer with a red case. She pulls out a class ring with a familiar red stone. She uses a glass orb from Chloe's desk to smash it and dislodge the piece of red Kryptonite from the ring. She holds the small red jewel against the light of a desk lamp. Wanna play us out, Dido? Mmmm...semi-sweet.

Commercials. Finding Neverland. I've only seen that and Sideways of the Oscar Best Picture nominees, and I can say those two movies are exactly the opposite of each other. But still they're both worth seeing, definitely. ["Eh. If you've seen Chocolat, you've seen Finding Neverland. They both kind of blow." -- Wing Chun]

Stately Luthor Manor. Oh, I remember this place! Wow, it's been months, huh? Inside, two masked foes are fencing. Epees clatter. As someone comes in through the double doors, Lex gets pinned in the chest. The foil bends as it nails him, just like he likes it. It's Papa Luthor at the door, looking -- in his brown suit and white shirt with the top buttoned unbuttoned -- like a cool English lit professor. "The prodigal father returns," Lex says. I hate that fucking expression, "the prodigal son returns," whether it's the correct usage or some variation on it. Lex takes off his fencing mask, and a comely young blonde -- who schooled Lex just now -- takes off hers. She fluffs her hair as Papa Luthor walks right past her. Papa Luthor says he's tried calling, but Lex hasn't responded. He asks if Lex has been too busy "playing with his sword" to speak to his father. Lex takes off his fencing jacket and says he's been preoccupied with court papers, trying to figure out how Papa Luthor got out of jail. Papa Luthor says he doesn't think Lex will figure it out there as, in the background, Lex gives his sparring partner a quick kiss and sends her on her way. Papa Luthor, in tight foreground close-up (the shot of choice this week), says it was a miracle. He says, with emotion, that he must use that freedom toward a "greater purpose." If he wanted to, he could join PETA's marine division and put it toward a greater porpoise. Lex gets up in his face as the camera switches to a profile two-shot and says that Papa Luthor won't be coming back to LuthorCorp and lining his pockets with company money. Papa Luthor says he doesn't want money, nor to take Lex's stake in the company. He says that corporate maneuvering doesn't interest him anymore. Lex: "So, what, now trying to kill me is going to be a full-time job?" Papa Luthor tries to reason that Lex is coming from a place of anger, and that Papa Luthor understands that. He says it's not too late for Lex to get off the path leading to darkness. Wow, way to take the Magnificent Bastard out of a character. Lex asks what Papa Luthor is really up to. "I am trying to make the world a better place," he says, desperately. So get the fuck out of the way, world! Papa Luthor says he's creating a charitable foundation to really help people and inspire the human spirit. Like, gag. He says he wishes everyone on earth could be as blessed as him. Lex looks at him with a small smile, trying to see where the line of bullshit has been drawn. He leans forward: "So now you're the Messiah?" Papa Luthor sputters that he's not. He says he's just a man with a dream. He smiles goofily. So, he'll be dead soon from being so good, right?

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