We’re So Screwed (1): Fetal Attraction

Episode Report Card
admin: A | 1 USERS: A+
"Learning How We Do Things."

The Charrid finds Scorpius and Jenek, who tells him to check on the freighter; Scorpius is like, totally, I gotta check mine too. Jenek clamps a hand on his shoulder and tells him to stay put. As the PA continues to get Scarran all over your ears, Jenek's Charrid finds the downed guards outside.

D'Argo is impatient with Sikozu, who's almost finished. She turns very deliberately away from him and talks patter -- "If I jam the docking port controls, the freighter won't be able to break free and follow us" -- while, with her hand, she melts a bunch of wires like she's a Scarran or something. See? A new magic power every week. I wish I was a Kalish. Or maybe like a crossing guard, that might be fun. I've never ridden in a hot-air balloon. I am a man of many wishes. Sikozu gasps in a way where this is either the worst of her abilities or, um, like the best. Her relationship with Scorpius is like, I don't know if she actually knows the difference either. Sikozu tries to cover, actually stuttering for like the first time ever, about how she merely cross-coupled the blinderfnitz with the shoobaloo and whatever, but they have to move so fast because the lights are going to come on.

John hurries off the freighter, Aeryn in his arms. Noranti follows, with Chiana. That darn Charrid yells at them and is quite aggressive; Chiana gasps as Noranti puts her down. The Charrid tells them to turn off the light and John tells her to do it; John brings up about how he "shouldn't be carrying," and the Charrid's like, "Carrying what?" That's when the lights come back on, and one of the Scarran DRDs comes out of nowhere all, "Hell no with that gun," and starts shooting. They hide as the DRDs accrete, and finally the Charrid drops. "...A gun," John says, not getting the irony at all, and they run past, meeting up with D'Argo and Sikozu. Noranti gives Chiana to D'Argo, who carries her tenderly, and they all run like hell.

Jenek comms for Ralnahk and gets no report; so he growls at Scorpius because things are clearly going south. There are fisticuffs. Scorpius fights a good game, but Jenek has like a foot on him easy, and tosses him eventually into a table.

John hurries into Moya's docking bay, carrying Aeryn; D'Argo follows with Chiana, who tells him she can stand on her own for a sec. Pilot comms that the docking collar has released Moya and he -- perhaps unnecessarily -- tells Pilot to get starburst up and running. Pilot's like, "Done." I wonder what Pilot's been up to this whole time. I bet you can play really complicated solitaire with four arms. And as we learned from Spider-Man 2, all you need to accomplish cold fusion is more arms, so maybe that's how he amuses himself. ... Yeah, that's still stupid. Just checking.

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