We’re So Screwed (2): Hot To Katratzi

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admin: B- | Grade It Now!
"When You Wake Up In The Morning, What Do You Hear?"

Emperor Staleek comes in and calls total bullshit on Ahkna's activities. "You wanted the information taken from him!" she protests, and he points at what's left of Scorpius, which is like a stain with drool coming out of it: "Alive! I said alive! And have you learned anything?" Nope. He tells her to shut it: "Crichton has destroyed a Stryker and found a way into the caverns, but you have achieved: nothing. Get out!" That's pretty hilarious when you put it that way, actually. She claims the torture chamber as her jurisdiction, and he reminds her that that's his prerogative. He sends both her and frigging Stark out, and the Scarran soldiers follow. Staleek gives himself a pep talk about getting the truth and approaches Scorpius. "I thought you said she couldn't harm you." Scorpius is...amazing. You can barely hear him with the strangled voice, and yet. Amazing. "She couldn't! I'm fine, quite fine. I've caused enough harm in my time to mimic it well." Ha! Staleek's like, "Meanwhile John's knob is scaring everybody, and also he ate some of us with a wormhole." Scorpius claims that he can separate John from the Fat Man -- which, think about that a second, because he's not wrong -- because John trusts him more than he realizes. Staleek's like, that would be so awesome. Unless you totally betray me because he's your friend. Staleek grabs Scorpius, who smiles at him. "I've served you for ten cycles as a spy. Why would I betray you now?" I'm so confused. Is Wentrask real? Did we know Scorpius was totally a Scarran spy? There are three people in this show that I can't remember their actual deal even when they just say it out loud. He's one of them. I mean, I'm pretty sure I know his actual deal, but who can say if it's true? The Peacekeeper Wars is like doing a Magic Eye after six tabs of acid about that stuff. "Betray me, and you will die in this machine. But deliver Crichton's knowledge to me, and all the power you seek will be yours." Scorpius pants and sweats and watches Staleek leave with some righteous hate in his face. He is so smooth.

A PK ship comes to Katratzi with something very interesting, as we see when Commandant Grayza invites John and Aeryn to her office. "I would like to make an addition to my offer." She hands John an official-looking plastic film with some kind of PK seal on it. "I'll have the kung pao chicken. You want a spring roll?" he asks Aeryn, holding the sheet out for Aeryn to read. "Actually," Grayza says, "they're a pardon from the Supreme Council. No Peacekeeper would dare violate them." John asks if it's true, and Aeryn stares at the films. "It would seem so... However, it is conditional." On not sharing wormhole tech with the Scarrans. Which is such a dumb idea that I couldn't blame them for hunting John down if he did. "What if we give these back?" Aeryn says they'll stay valid; not even Grayza would destroy them after signature. Braca: "I've witnessed them. So have all our principal officers." John lays them on her desk and says he'll let her know.

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