What The…?, Part I

Episode Report Card
admin: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
The Pecs Take A Powder

Jeff goes off to tally the votes. This is the first week he can use one hand to count them all, so that's pretty exciting. Jon stares into the fire, lamenting the burning of his soul. If you take a deep breath, you can actually smell the char on it. Unsurprisingly, when Jeff returns, he reads one vote for Shawn and one vote for Jon first, but after that, it's all Shawn, so he's the bootee. Jon is still holding his "Johnny Fairplay" fingers on his shoulders, by the way. I like to imagine, though, that they're both Vs, and they stand for "Very Vile." If that were what it meant, I might even join in myself. As Shawn takes his torch to be snuffed, Jon makes a smirky face, because that's the guy he is. Snuff! Jeff tells the remaining Drakes that this may be their low point, and that at least they can be comforted by the fact that Morgan is in the same bad position.

In his exit interview, Shawn says that Jon turned out to be untrustworthy. Wow, who knew? He says that he was hoping for a "merger," because that might have saved him. "What can I say? Game, set match," he says. A reasonably tolerable exit speech, all things considered. I'm not sure Shawn's a bad guy as much as he is sort of a dumb guy. Unfortunately, "pretty" and "smart" rarely go together on reality shows.

Commercials. I can't believe C.S.I. really did that with the animal mascot nookie. That's really wrong.

Thunder rumbles as we prepare for the second tribal council of the evening. The Morgan tribe files in, happy that Drake warmed up their seats for them, because it stinks to have to put your bony ass on a wet, cold tree stump. A disapproving Jeff stares at the wet and miserable tribe members, who have apparently been rained on quite a bit on their way over. Jeff points out that while Drake lucked out with the weather, Morgan did not. He plunges right into the questions, asking Andrew what happened when they got back to camp after the challenge. Andrew says that as soon as they started talking, Osten asked to be voted off. Jeff looks over at Osten. "You had enough, Osten?" he says. Osten says that, from the beginning, he decided he would only go as far as his body could go. "Right now, my body's done," he says. Now, if you can explain why Osten's body would shut down before anyone else's in the history of this show, then you're a better person than I am. He goes on to say that his body is "exasperated." Heh. Aren't we all? He says everything hurts. Poor baby. He claims that he'll only be a liability to his team, so he feels like he should go. Because he's all about generosity, really. Well, generosity and being a big wuss.

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