What The…?, Part I

Episode Report Card
admin: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
The Pecs Take A Powder

Jeff turns to Andrew. "How much of this experience is about finding out what you are made of?" Ouch. Andrew smacks the hanging curveball that Jeff pitched to him, saying that it's all about finding out what you're made of. He flatly says that your mind controls your body, so if your body's shutting down, it's likely because your mind is shutting down. Jeff turns to Osten and suggests this -- that in addition to whatever is going on physically, his mind has had enough as well. He asks Osten how it feels to hear a guy like Burton talk about wanting back in the game so badly: "Is there any part of you that questions your will to go on when your body may be saying, 'I'm tired'?" Osten says no. "I equate my temple to a car," he says, leaping from a "my body is a temple" metaphor to a "my body is a car" metaphor via the transitive property of tortured literary devices. He says that his car has no gas, so it can't run. Of course, nobody else's car has any gas, either, and they're all running, so...that analogy doesn't really work, either. Maybe his car runs on that oxygenated crap.

Jeff asks Tijuana about Osten's previous desire to quit all the way back at the second tribal council. He asks her what she thinks is going on with him. She says, as diplomatically as she can, that Osten may not want to make the sacrifices regarding his health that she would be willing to make, because she'd be willing to go "probably until [she's] dead." Next, Jeff turns to Darrah. He points out that her already small self has been shrinking by the week -- Jeff has, unsurprisingly, noticed her top falling down -- and asks her if she'd ever quit. Darrah: "Like T said, I guess y'all are gonna have to carry me away, because I'm not gonna leave until I have to." Hee, awesome. Jeff asks Ryan-O for his take on the situation. Ryan-O says that if it were him, he'd be clawing and scratching to stay in, but Osten's going to do what Osten's going to do, and Ryan-O is willing to give him what he's asking for. They're basically unanimous, and their take is this: "He's a weenie, but what are you gonna do?"

Jeff starts the final countdown. "I'm going to go back to you, Osten. I think you know I'm not picking on you." "Oh, that's fine if you are," Osten says with a smile, really unwilling to swallow the embarrassment he's heaping on himself at this particular moment in time. Jeff asks him whether, in light of the fact that even his tribemates who like him are saying they'd never do what he's doing, some part of him does feel like he's quitting. Osten makes the rather remarkable claim that he's not "quitting," he's "stopping." Eh? Yeah, there's no difference between those two things for the purposes of this game. I mean, if you go to a particular store every week, you can "stop" going there without "quitting," but that's only because there's no task to complete that you're "stopping" in the middle of. But when you sign up for a challenge and you "stop" before it's over, that's what "quitting" means. Quitting doesn't make you an unworthy person, but it is quitting, and there's really no point in splitting hairs to the degree that Osten's trying to do here. Osten says his health is more important than a million dollars, which I guess means that he thinks that his health is somehow more endangered than everyone else's. He also says, "Does the means justify the ends? No." Wow. Nonsensical both substantively and grammatically -- that's not easy to do.

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