You’re The Bad Guy

Episode Report Card
admin: A+ | 1 USERS: B+
Dollar Kid/Topside Kid

Rando: "Most certainly."
Mia: "What would you say is the probability that I will end this encounter alive?"
Rando: "Slim to none, Sweetcheeks."
Mia: "You probably knew I would be up for that when you saw my outfit, huh."
Rando: "It was a shot in the dark, but yeah."


Rando, verbatim: "You have really nice hands, little doll hands."
Mia: "That seems like something a serial killer would say. Do you have any drugs?"
Rando: "Sure, here is a straw and some powdered substance."
Mia: "I love coke! Which this very well might be!"

It is not. It is heroin!

Mia: "Kind stranger, what exactly did you put in my tiny doll hands?"
Rando: "All of the heroin, why?"
Mia: "Well, great. I mean, I figured this is how this would go down, but I mean like I just got here. Didn't even take off my fingerless gloves and Mickey Mouse ears yet. Haven't even had a chance to try the hors d'oeuvres, and now here I am, snorting heroin and getting chopped up into many pieces."


Joanna: "I mean, your dad's always kind of a dick, but he's started saying some worrisome offhand remarks that are too specific to be his usual passive aggression."
Julian: "Well, I might have some good news for you later on tonight."
Joanna: "Does it affect me in any way?"
Julian: "Not as far as I know, but if something nice happens to me that's exactly the same thing as something nice happening to you. Especially since it involves putting your romantic rival in the electric chair. It's a win/win."

Mia: "Joanna, could you come get me from a situation?"
Joanna: "Did a gang of middle-schoolers beat you up for dressing like that? I told you."
Mia: "No, I snorted a bunch of heroin and am the captive of rapists."
Joanna: "Gotcha. On my way."

Actually what she says is, "Don't move, I'll be right there," which leads me to believe Mia didn't tell her the whole story right then. But it's funny to imagine. "Just tell your hosts to knock it off and for God's sake don't go anywhere, all right? You're better off with people you know, having ingested that much heroin."


Backed up by an entire Robert Palmer video of scantily dressed hos, endlessly undulating to their unheard ho music and writhing on various parts of his body, the Senator takes a meeting with his lawyer, Jane.

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