What do you want first, the good news or the bad news? Bad news. CBS recently held their Network Upfront Presentation in New York, and announced that Harper's Island would not be picked up for a second season. This is the part where I hold you and say, "It's OK, we gave it a good shot. We tried something new and different, and we just didn't get the ratings we were all hoping for." Maybe I'll even throw in a little, "It's not you, it's me" to lessen the blow. The good news. We have not been cancelled, and CBS will continue to air the remaining episodes of this season. And I promise you this, the last seven episodes are awesome. Promise.
Episode 6. For those of you who had Richard Allen in the Death Pool, I'm sorry. Time to make a new selection. I'm sticking with my pick, Madison Allen. There's something off about her. I can't put my finger on it, but that little girl is up to no good.
The assassin's job is getting easier every week. When it came time for me to break the news to David Lewis (Richard Allen) he smiled, gave me a hug, and thanked me for the opportunity to be on the show. Are you kidding? What is wrong with these actors? Why can't one of them start yelling at me, or throw their script at me, or hold up production by refusing to get out of their trailer, or curse me out for ruining their career, or have their agent call me and curse me out for ruining their career... something, anything. I guess that kind of stuff just doesn't happen in Vancouver. I have to change that.
Final question of the blog. How many people does it take to harpoon a man on network television? Answer. 200. Easily. I'm serious. It took five crew members just to pull David backwards, off screen, after he was harpooned. Then there were guys pouring blood on him, guys inserting guts in him, guys making sure all the harnesses were working properly, guys lighting, guys changing his bloody jacket after every take, guys shooting video of the stunt, guys shooting video of the guys shooting video of the stunt, etc. I spent the whole night trying to keep 11-year-old Cassandra Sawtell, the actress who plays Madison, shielded from all this blood and gore on set. She didn't need to see a man's guts pouring out of him. She's only 11, definitely not ready to be exposed to all this chaos. So, after the third take of poor David being harpooned, I walk back to the video monitor and find Cassandra sitting in my chair. Uh-oh. Did she see any of that? I start panicking. "Where's your Mom? Why aren't you in your trailer? This stuff is pretty disgusting, you don't want to see this," I explain to her. She looks up at me and says, "It's not real enough. You should add more blood. And the guts look fake. No one's gonna buy it." Wow. Suddenly everyone's a producer. Suddenly ANYONE can be an assassin. I'm telling you, there's something off about this girl.
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