This is my last blog and first off I want to thank you all for taking the time to read it and hope you can actually make it through this one. (It addresses some boring topics) I want to thank all of the BGC fans. You guys rock and your positive messages really mean a lot. I also want to thank the people at Oxygen and all the staff from Bunim/Murray. You guys have been wonderful and I appreciate everything you have done for us. I have a lot of great things in the works and I would love for you all to keep updated. My personal website is at www.ambermeade.net and I will keep it updated.

Watching the reunion was very difficult to do because I am in such a great place in my life right now. All that drama seemed to take me back to a place that I have left behind. There is so much to cover now that the end of BGC is finally here. I will try my best to give you my thoughts and feelings as this chapter closes for me. First I truly wish all the bad girls the best of luck with all their future endeavors! Work hard and play later, because the clock is ticking.

The season finale was both good and bad to watch. I loved watching us girls as we said goodbye to the house and each other. We really had gone through an experience of a lifetime and to leave on a good note was a great thing.

The events leading up to our goodbye were not so fun to watch, specifically, the Mike/Tiffany/myself incident. I wish I had handled everything differently. I should have said it made me uncomfortable in the moment rather than playing along using my humor to mask the way I was feeling. I knew no harm was to come because Tiffany and all the girls were there but I had felt uncomfortable and wished the whole thing wouldn't have happened. I hadn't even really met the guy and then he was up there feeling me up. I should have just said something and if I did I know he would've stopped. He didn't know I was feeling that way and I can understand where he might have thought I was welcoming it. I had flirted with him on the phone and was super excited to meet him.

My experience in the BGC was one I will never forget. I am grateful that I was given the opportunity. I walked away with four awesome friends each of us from different walks of life. My life is so vastly different since the show was film and even after the reunion. I open myself up and gain a better understanding of Tiffany.

Limo Tricks, porno premieres, contradicting b*tches, my a$$ cheeks, Mexico, ice throwing, and street-fighting... Just another week in the BGC!!

Yes, we went to the world premiere of a PORNO film. Every dream of a real BAD GIRL just came true!!! If you're into that type of thing!! Amber M. was so accommodating showing us her (BJ) techniques in the limo!! Thanks Amber!!! Jessie James! How awesome is she?? It was kind of rude for Amber B. to talk sh*t about Jessie James and her choice of work since she was enjoying the festivities just like everyone else. After all, her head was in the "pirate's" crotch!! Isn't having sex on TV just like filming a porno?? Everyone see's it!!!

Wow, this episode is really hard to watch. I was at such a low point in Cancun. I wasn't going to let anyone ruin my trip and that is exactly what happened. I really didn't deserve the hostility yet I was getting the brunt of everyone's anger.

The Un-fab 5 were being ridiculous in Mexico and as much as I tried there was no getting though to them. They operated with a double standard. They could threaten us, destroy our stuff, play malicious pranks on us, and treat us like outcasts but if we did any of those things there would be hell to pay. They were all hypocrites and since they were doing all those things they assumed that Amber and I were as well. I am sorry but I don't operate like that. As much as I may act silly and goofy I am really mature and I don't play those types of games.

A2K, Pranks, Cheers, Boys and Punk Girls... Oh MY! I can't help but LMAO when I watch the show. It is too funny!

Amber B.'s scary a$$ said: I can't leave out the house. I wish KC was in the house to protect me! Then she was waiting by the phone for her call: Oh KC help please!!! B*tch, suck it up you are a bad girl!!! Is this the same b*tch who wanted to call the police on KC for terrorist threats? Wasn't she scared that KC was going to stab her in the middle of the night? But she is willing to have her sleep in her bed?? What a Joke. What a f*cking BAD GIRL!!

Cookie knew her girl talked sh*t and was running between Ashley and Sarah. Amber B talked sh*t with Ailea too and she f*cking hates Ailea. Hell, I'm so over of this! WE ALL TALKED SH*T!!!! Therefore, WE ALL ARE FAKE a$$ SH*T TALKERS!!!

Tiffany was the one I always wanted to be close with. I loved this girl and no matter what she did I always forgave her. In the beginning of the show she was so mature and really neutral. She didn't act like a fool and always had a very open approach to things. As the show went on we became closer yet further apart. We would have great times together cuddling and laughing and then other moments she would be so angry and just yell and scream at me. I wanted to be close friends but the moment we were getting somewhere either I or another one of The (Un)Fab 5 would make her angry at me. One moment she would be braiding my hair and telling me how much she loves me and the next she would be telling me she would cut my a$$ up. Although, I don't normally have friendships that rocky it just ended up that way.

The anger that came from our fight at the Key Club turned into anger towards "The Ambers." This was around the time when Ailea started going off the deep end. We had a conversation at one point where she was expressing that she didn't want to end up like her mom. She was really worried because her mom was an alcoholic and she didn't want to end up like that. This was around the time that Ailea started drinking more and started acting crazy. The night of the Key Club, I don't even remember seeing her flip out until we were outside of the club. There was no one out there to fight and she started going crazy. She was fighting the air and looked like she was going to attack a ghost. I was really worried about her at that point. She started flipping out in the limo and was kicking everything in it. She was losing it. I felt bad for her and I wanted to approach her and get her to recognize her self-destructive behavior but imagine if I (her enemy) approached her and told her I was concerned that she was going crazy. She would not have accepted it! So I decided to just let her be and hope that one of her "friends" would recognize her self-destructive behavior.

I don't recall the "Gummi Bear" caper all that much. Most of the stupid sh*t the A2 did is just one big blur at this point. I don't even recall them being in my food until I saw my COOKIE on TV!!! I think I may have laughed about it at first, but then I got upset because who was going to clean all those sticky bastards up? I am a neat freak.

What you guys don't know is that we pulled pranks all throughout our time there, but you only see like the tail end of the pranks. Don't start none, won't be none!!! To everyone with the sticks in their a$, take 'em out!!!! No Ambers were harmed during the duration of BGC!!!! Hell, we were stuck with each other for weeks without any other outside connection to our own respective worlds. What do you expect, tea and cookies? No pun intended.