By the time we shot the reunion I was so over all the drama. I loved Perez hosting the show. He was super funny and completely honest. I didn't want to even go to the reunion. I was positive the girls would resort back to their old mentality and I wasn't excited to go deal with it again. I had to spend two and a half months with those girls and my life was finally returning back to normal with no drama.

We get out on stage and Perez asks me a question and then the other girls automatically start their intimidation tactics and question everything I say. Then Amber starts talking and they shut her right up using the same techniques. It is really frustrating being around that attitude because although they may disagree with what I had to say I was being honest and they automatically go on attack mode and insult me. You can't even disagree because it always resorts to threats or getting pillows thrown at you. OMG just thinking about it frustrates me.

I had thought by the time we shot the reunion that some of the girls would recognize their bad behavior and would maybe act differently. Instead we all resorted to our old ways. Amber and I were getting along great with Kayla and the rest of the girls were staying true to their "Fab 5" gang mentality.

Besides Tiffany, I really didn't have any beef with the girls. The only problem I had was with Tiffany. She was talking to me on the phone like we are friends and then would stab me in the back. I am not going to resort to insulting her or calling her names because I don't write these recaps to tear people down but I will explain my problem with her. Some of the conversations we had on the phone directly correlated with a girl on the Oxygen message boards. This wasn't just about the whole "d*ck sucking" misunderstanding it was about many other things. I started watching the blogger because at one point it was referring to "The Ambers" as "they were always doing ... " When I see references to us as "they were always" it shows me that it was probably one of the girls. The blogger would even misspell her name at times. I showed Amber B. and she agreed it was Tiffany. I wanted to believe Tiffany that it wasn't her but after the reunion I got a friend request from this girl's Myspace. This girl's page had like nine friends (mostly bad girls) and it was obvious that it was just created. Then after the reunion she started telling all her personal info that can help people relate to her as a real person. Although I may seem stupid, I am not and I still believe it was Tiffany. Creating this "real" person so conveniently after the reunion is just a ploy to convince people it isn't her. I think it was a ploy and I really wouldn't have called her out on it if wasn't sure it was her. I know this is immature but I just have a problem with people backstabbing me.

I don't know if Tiffany and I will ever have a positive relationship. It sucks because during the show she was the one I actually wanted to be close to, but I can't handle all this up and down friendship with her. We truly are each other's worst critics and I bet if we sat down and talked it out (without getting physical) we could teach each other a lot about ourselves. My problem with her is she doesn't see fault in her "Fab 5" friends when they are in the wrong yet she dissects me and looks for any ounce of fault in me and then exploits it. This frustrates me and as much as I don't want to call her on her faults and would rather be friends I also do it as a defense mechanism. Is this mature? No. When you feel like you are being attacked I think it is really easy to attack back. So we attack each other.

I was somewhat proud of Kayla at the reunion yet disappointed as well. I really wanted her to not flip out but I guess Ashley took her to that point and she couldn't resist. Ashley was annoyed with Kayla's comment and I can understand why but to start screaming and fighting was so overdramatic and exactly why I didn't want to come to the reunion.

Sarah just cracks me up. She is so damn funny! I wish we got along better but I guess whatever. It is OK to move on.

Amber is just adorable. I love her face and our "real" friendship didn't start until after Cancun and didn't really develop until after the show. I know this may surprise you but I actually didn't trust her during the show and our friendship really started to grow after we left the BGC home.

As far as Ailea and Whitney I really just wanted to see if they were at all embarrassed by their behavior. Of course not! I don't hate them but I am glad they are no longer a part of my life. It's pretty obvious that Boston still cannot find any fault in her ways and blames me for all of the fighting. Ailea still seams like a hot ass mess and it was interesting to see the lack of remorse from her when we watched the Cancun footage. Those girls are just really young and I hope someday they will start to grow up.

None of us were innocent and we all were in the wrong at many times during the show. The key to our experience is learning and growing from it and recognizing where you were wrong and modifying your behavior. I have learned so much about myself since the show but more so after watching it on television. Although I love to think of myself as a perfect angel I can totally recognize my faults now. After the fight with Kayla I totally thought I was innocent. They had told me I instigated it and I was so surprised and upset. Watching it now I do see where they were coming from. I really was pushing the issue when I should have dropped it. We both played some fault in that fight. When Whitney and I fought in the limo I totally thought I was innocent. I was so pissed at her that she accused me of shoving a gummy bear in her mouth. Umm... reality check! I am pretty sure I shoved it in her mouth along with Ailea's. I was so drunk and annoying so I can understand how she would've gotten upset. I still think she should have handled it differently but we can't change the past. There are a lot of moments I am not proud of myself for. I see so many of my faults and although I won't change the person I am I will work on moderating some of my behavior.