Watching the reunion was very difficult to do because I am in such a great place in my life right now. All that drama seemed to take me back to a place that I have left behind. There is so much to cover now that the end of BGC is finally here. I will try my best to give you my thoughts and feelings as this chapter closes for me. First I truly wish all the bad girls the best of luck with all their future endeavors! Work hard and play later, because the clock is ticking.
I admit I was not happy to see The Ambers at the reunion. I guess seeing the shows along with America just brought up unresolved issues. It just seemed like the division had gotten worse than when we were in the house. I just wanted to see how we would react to each other, since we had not seen each other since the photo shoot.
Cookie and I would talk on the phone and she even came to Chicago to visit with Sarah. I guess in reading each other blogs and our "truthfulness" just turn into very hurt feelings. So, in my opinion only (I don't speak for other people) I believe we lashed out at each other even more. Cookie would tell me how a blogger in NYC that we met was mad at me and how I should watch my character at the reunion. I took offense to it. I was not playing a role I was being myself. I had not embraced the bloggers, so I was taken aback that she was talking about me to one. Plus who the hell is she to tell me how to act?
This all leads to the blow up. Cookie and Amber B. came on stage accusing me of being a person on the message boards. I think it's funny because I barley read the site like that. My people do and they tell me everything that is going on the site. I tell the Ambers that I'm not this message board user. Just because someone went on the message boards and likes me and defends me it has to be me? Amber M felt as if no one could ever like me or my personality and that I was just hated by all. First news flash: you're wrong!! I try to tell "Pinky and the Brain" this, but being the super silly b*tches that they are they stick with roaming the messages boards and putting a lot of attention where it should not be: befriending every blogger/stalker out there. They are silly rabbits to give their personal information to people on the messages boards. The funny thing is that later on that next week Cookie and Amber B. both find out that I am not this woman on the message boards and that she is a woman that blogs and just happens to like me. The Ambers felt like dumb a$$es at that point because here they were assuming and trying their best to put me on blast and they failed. Cookie even tried to apologize for this because the user is a real person. It's so funny because now it confirms that "Pinky and the Brain" were the actual ones on the messages boards! Here they were trying to catch me up and caught themselves up! Well that's what you get.
At the reunion I was happy that I was able to talk to Cookie in a calm matter regarding my brother, Mike. The last time we spoke... yeah it didn't go well. I never said Mike was correct in the situation. I just felt as if Cookie played a part in that fiasco. Cookie never learned to be accountable for any of her actions or own up to anything that she did in the house. The incident with Cookie and Mike turned out just like I knew it would. That is why I did not want to talk about it. However, Cookie pokes and pokes. Now every ugly and vile thing that people can say out of their mouths from deep down in their hearts have come out. Not just at my family but towards Cookie too! I know Cookie isn't a racist. I was upset with her though. I felt that she really was trying to hurt my family by saying that about my brother. The Cookie/Mike situation was way too sensitive to be shown in this type of setting.
I still talk to all the Fabulous 5! Those are my girls! But The Ambers on the other hand... They choose not to deal with me and that's fine by me. I have no hard feeling towards them all. Life goes on.
I am the happiest that I have ever been in my life and I am living life to the fullest. I now work for myself, which is a great thing. Amber M. made a comment about how she went back to working and the rest of us went back home to live with our parents. News flash #2: When the show was over I moved into my own place. I have always stood on my own. I don't speak for others, so please don't speak on behalf of me.
I am happy and thankful for all the support that was given and I have no regrets at all. The BGC experience is one of those once in a lifetime opportunities and I would not change it for the world. To the bloggers (fans and haters), production, Television Without Pity, NBC and Oxygen family, I want to say thank you because everyone has aided in Tiffany becoming a stronger women. This is not the end for me. It is the beginning. I am ready for the war like always. I hope the viewers learned something positive or at the very least learn how not to act from me. I thank you for watching this season.
The key to love is loving yourself first before you can truly love others.
Peace, love and happiness.
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