Mary Alice Young - Desperate Housewives
She's been dead since the show began, but that doesn't keep her from narrating the latest news concerning the ladies of Wisteria Lane. But in order to gain her knowledge of what goes on behind closed doors, she'd have to split her ghostly self into pieces, since she has to simultaneously track what murderers are doing, whatever obnoxious deeds Gaby is up to and what ridiculous predicaments are befalling Susan - all in the same given day. That's a fairly impossible feat, and a frustrating task that we wouldn't wish on anyone.

The Narrator - Arrested Development
Not only did the Ron Howard-voiced narrator know everything that happened to the Bluth family the second it unfolded, but he was also quite opinionated about their adventures -- and rightly so. They were, by and large, moronic people. That said, he also commented harshly on his own narrating abilities, so he was an equal opportunity critic. But he managed to keep track of people in jail, the attic or hiding out as a member of the Blue Man group. Quite the busy job.

Gossip Girl - Gossip Girl
Gossip Girl knows what's happening in Blair Waldorf's bedroom, and seems to be privy to all manner of backroom deals happening at the Empire. She even kept tabs on Serena and Blair while they were in France and knows everything from the instant Jenny Humphrey has arrived on a train to the results of a paternity test long before the characters do. She's better at hunting out dish than TMZ for a site that like five people on the planet actually care about. And why does she devote so much time to these particular people and their parents and housekeepers? It's actually perplexing.

Joey "Ice Cream" - The Black Donnellys
He was an unreliable narrator at best, but that didn't stop him from giving details about a whole heap of personal family events that he was not invited to. Really, he had to have been embellishing things or even completely fabricating them, which kind of defeated the purpose of the entire show since it was supposed to expose the truth about a violent neighborhood. And if Joey wasn't a liar, how come he didn't use his snooping to further his career?

Ted Mosby - How I Met Your Mother
Not present-day Ted Mosby, who is basically an idiot, but Future Ted, who regales his kids with tales of his misspent youth. But not only does Future Ted have an amazing ability to recall random details (with a few minor exceptions, honey), but apparently he knows every single thing that happened to his friends when he wasn't there. He knows about goings-on at Marshall's work, exactly how Robin felt after their early dates and what Lily's days at school are like. It's possible, though highly unlikely, that his pals would have filled him in with such vivid detail that he'd remember it decades later; it is also possible that he is just talking out of his ass, but he does so with such authority, it's hard to question him.

A - Pretty Little Liars
A knows all the secrets that Allison knew before she died, but then also knows new things, like about Emily being gay, almost the instant that they happen. Or, say, Hanna's mom stealing money. Even a dead Allison wouldn't be able to get around that much. Does she have help? Are two people A? And is he/she/them trying to help or hinder our pretty little liars?

Harry Morgan - Dexter
Not only was he the adoptive father of a serial killer, but during his life he taught his son to cleverly kill only people who really deserved it with a sense of vigilante justice. And now Harry pops up inside Dexter's mind any time he seems at odds about something, from a questionable kill to worrying about acting impulsively. He's Dexter's spiritual guide from beyond, and he also warns Dexter when he could be in real trouble (like he was with Trinity), though he's also quite judgmental about Dex's friends.

Kevin Arnold - The Wonder Years
With an even better memory than Ted Mosby, Future Kevin Arnold had a deep recollection of the entire minutia of his childhood. He did a better job of commenting on what he saw, instead of on moments that he wasn't there for, but still, how does a 12-year-old recall exactly what someone was feeling on a given day in the middle of summer 30 years before? Did he have some sort of thorough diary that he uses for reference? A brain with a built-in HD recorder? Probably not, since that hadn't been invented yet.

The Camera Crew - The Office
This camera crew is shooting a documentary, right? So why are they following people on dates or outside of the office on non-work events? And why haven't they stopped shooting, and how are they exactly in the right place when people are just about to hook up? How many people exactly are on this team of cameramen filming these same people for years? Because to know everything, and capture the footage that they get, we estimate they'd need at least 10 camera folks shooting at all times.

Who is/was your favorite omniscient character on TV? Let us know below!

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