ABC's upcoming Mistresses may not actually have any major concrete connections with Desperate Housewives, but the parallels are obvious, given that they're both dark series about unhappy female friends struggling with their relationships. I'm not sure whether the series will be an upgrade or a downgrade of Desperate Housewives in its quality (though it won't have to work hard to beat the series finale), Mistresses has certainly inspired me to check in on how the working actors of Desperate Housewives are getting along. Basically, what I've learned is this: Either join the cast of Mad Men, land a starring role of Dallas or live in TV purgatory: