ABC's upcoming Mistresses may not actually have any major concrete connections with Desperate Housewives, but the parallels are obvious, given that they're both dark series about unhappy female friends struggling with their relationships. I'm not sure whether the series will be an upgrade or a downgrade of Desperate Housewives in its quality (though it won't have to work hard to beat the series finale), Mistresses has certainly inspired me to check in on how the working actors of Desperate Housewives are getting along. Basically, what I've learned is this: Either join the cast of Mad Men, land a starring role of Dallas or live in TV purgatory:

Marc Cherry: Creator/Producer of Lifetime's Devious Maids -- Downgrade

Teri Hatcher (Susan Delfino): Jane by Design, where she played the titular Jane's absentee mother -- Downgrade (though Jane by Design was great)

Felicity Huffman (Lynette Scavo): Upcoming Fox pilot Boomerang, where she'll star as a spy/homemaker -- Upgrade

Eva Longoria (Gabrielle Solis): Executive Producer of both NBC's failed Ready for Love and the aforementioned Devious Maids -- Downgrade, but at least her humiliation is off-camera

Steven Culp (Rex Van de Kamp): He's done a bunch of things after leaving the series, but from the time the series ended, he's played JFK on TNT's Perception and had a reoccurring role on Grey's Anatomy -- Upgrade

Ricardo Chavira (Carlos Solis): Star of NBC's upcoming Welcome to the Family, where he'll play an angry Latino father stereotype -- Downgrade

Mark Moses (Paul Young): Elementary, Blue Bloods and a particularly deplorable character on Mad Men -- major Upgrade

Brenda Strong (Mary Alice Young): Stars in TNT's Dallas revival and had a guest spot in Scandal -- Upgrade

Dana Delany (Katherine Mayfair ): Starred in Body of Proof -- Upgrade, at least for the screentime while the show lasted

Vanessa Williams (Renee Perry): She starred in ABC's cancelled 66 Park Avenue -- generally a Downgrade, but c'mon, it's Vanessa Williams... she'll be fine

Christine Estabrook (Martha Huber): The veteran actress has gone on to have stints on American Horror Story and Mad Men (where she's the mother-in-law of Greg Harris, played by Sam Page, who was briefly on Desperate Housewives as Rex's estranged and creepy son, Sam Allen) -- Upgrade (and Upgrade)

Andrea Bowen (Julie Mayer): An episode of Scandal -- Upgrade

Jesse Metcalfe (John Rowland): Like Strong, he's a Dallas star -- Upgrade

John Slattery (Victor Lang): Most famously, Mad Men of course -- Upgrade

Doug Savant (Tom Scavo): Hot in Cleveland and Vegas guest spots -- Downgrade... poor Tom cannot catch a break

Richard Burgi (Karl Mayer): Appearances on Burn Notice and Blue Bloods, and an actual story arc on Body of Proof with Dana Delany -- Downgrade, mostly

Kyle MacLachlan (Orson Hodge): A bunch of things, most notably big guest roles of Made in Jersey, Portlandia, The Good Wife and How I Met Your Mother -- Upgrade, as nothing could have been worse than what Desperate Housewives did to him during his Orson-in-a-wheelchair years

Neal McDonough (Dave Williams): Again, a whole bunch of things, but the most notable was the creepy villain he played on Justified in the show's third season -- super Upgrade, and highly recommended

Drea de Matteo (Angie Bolen): Another actor who was already well-established before joining the cast, de Matteo's highlight role since Angel Bolen (if you can call Angie a "highlight") has been as a supporting player on Sons of Anarchy -- Upgrade

Jeffrey Nordling (Nick Bolen): Of most note, Body of Proof, Malibu Country and Arrow -- Downgrade, mostly

Beau Mirchoff (Danny Bolen): A starring role on MTV's Awkward -- Upgrade, and perhaps the best part of the show... and for bonus points, Danny's friend Eddie (Josh Zuckerman) landed a big part on 90210 for a while

Tuc Watkins (Bob Hunter): A few jobs, the best one of all on Parks and Recreation -- Upgrade

Kevin Rahm (Lee McDermott): After an unfortunate stint on the awful I Hate My Teenage Daughter, he transitioned from guest actor to full-time co-star on Mad Men -- Upgrade (especially if you hated him playing a walking stereotype on Desperate Housewives -- same goes for Watkins)

Maiara Walsh (Ana Solis): A spot on The Vampire Diaries and a small storyline on Switched at Birth -- Downgrade

Max and Charlie Carver (Preston and Porter Scavo): Often-shirtless wolf twins on Teen Wolf -- Downgrade, though I could be convinced otherwise

Roger Bart (George Williams): Continuing his career, Bart's best roles have since been on Perception, Political Animals and Revenge -- Upgrade

M.J. Delfino (Mason Vale Cotton): Mad Men -- Upgrade... not that he deserves it

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