You'll spend most of the day either dressing for, cleaning the house ahead of, hoping they have decent champagne at, or thanking God you're not obliged to go to various parties -- or watching all the movies you DVR'd after yesterday's picks.  So let's assume you don't need our help with what to watch during the day; it's a regular Monday schedule, more or less, with various L&O reruns and new soap episodes around the dial.

But what to watch at night?

Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve: The guy's hanging in there, God bless him.  Seacrest is assisting, and performers include Fergie, Carrie Underwood, will.i.am, and Akon.  (11:35 PM, ABC)

New Year's Eve With Carson Daly: ...All righty, then.  Performers include Lenny Kravitz and Alicia Keys; Tiki Barber is a "roving correspondent," which seems vaguely ridiculous, but if you're going to send anyone out into Times Square tonight, you're going to send a former NFL guy.  (11:35, NBC)

New Year's Eve Live With Anderson Cooper: That's more like it.  On the show: Earth Wind & Fire, Kathy Griffin, and various news reports from celebration around the world. (CNN, 11 PM)

Tila Tequila's Masquerade Party: Ew, kind of, but it's MTV, so they'll have a boatload of artists -- Wyclef Jean, Mary J. Blige, the Bravery, Fabolous, and Kid Rock, to name a few -- plus Perez Hilton will appear. (MTV, 11 PM)

And if you'd rather just raise a frosty glass of your favorite bev at midnight, then get on with the business of watching TV, you'll have a bunch of marathons to choose from:

Law & Order on TNT

America's Next Top Model on VH1

Kathy Griffin specials on Bravo

Mythbusters on Discovery

Beverly Hillbillies on TV Land

The Sopranos on HBO Deuce

Designate a driver, don't leave your wingman, and the happiest of new years to all of you, from all of us at TWoP.