Ramping Up: If you enjoyed the pretty-bad D2: The Mighty Ducks the other day, you'll love the really-bad D3: The Mighty Ducks today. When Emilio Estevez is like, "Dude, I'll just take a pass," your movie is probably in trouble. (TBS, 10 AM)

I Totally Forgot This: On today's Melrose Place, "Sydney impresses the hostess (Kristian Alfonso) and a famous guest (Stephen Nichols) at a party." I hope that means something to someone besides me, or I'm going to think I spent 1985 all alone. Oh, and? Gina Gershon. The hell? (SOAPnet, 11 AM)

The Only Guilty Man In Shawshank: I fully believe that The Shawshank Redemption is one of those movies where first it was really popular to like it, and then it was really popular not to like it, and now it's really popular to like it again, and the whole time, it's just been a very well-made, solid, compelling story that only became a cliche because it left such a big footprint. One of Stephen King's best stories, too. (Cinemax, 2 PM)

Also My Introduction To John Wesley Harding: I'm not sure when E! started showing full-length movies, but when they put up something like High Fidelity, it's okay with me, even cut for content. Not only is this a good John Cusack performance, but it was many people's introduction to Jack Black. (E!, 4 PM)

Second Squee Of The Week: So I'm sitting here calmly looking over the day's Golden Girls episodes (of which there are, as always, a bunch) when I see that a detective staking out the girls' house is played by George Clooney. Man, that guy got around before he went and fell in love with Sela Ward. (Lifetime, 4:30 PM)

Famous Episode Alert: Hallmark brings you the black-and-white newsreel episode of M*A*S*H, which I'm going to guess holds up really well, though it's been years since I saw it. Whatever else you can say about it, it's certainly something people remember. (Hallmark, 5:30 PM)

Hard-Working Annie Potts: She shows up as a "clairvoyant" helping Amanda on a new Ugly Betty. Enjoy it while you can, folks. (ABC, 8 PM)

Pilot Alert: Monica meets a beaten-down, wedding-dressed Rachel in the Friends opener. (TBS, 8 PM)

Must-Mete-Out TV: A new My Name Is Earl trickles out of the NBC spigot tonight, followed by a new 30 Rock. I haven't enjoyed the Edie Falco business all that much, to tell the truth, but the promise that Kenneth gets hooked on caffeine is enough to make up for it. (NBC, 8 PM/8:30 PM)

Please, No Sick Babies: The new Grey's Anatomy features a medical crisis for "Bailey's family," and even on a show I really don't even watch, I really hope they don't hurt the baby. Poor baby. (ABC, 9 PM)

I'm For Carol Alt: Seriously, it's hard to figure out whom to root for on Celebrity Apprentice, but tonight, the task has something to do with promoting pet adoption, so you can at least root for the dogs, probably. (NBC, 9 PM)

I'm Gonna Be A Supermodel: Okay, pardon the Clueless reference, but in case you haven't been bombarded with adequate promotional doodads, Make Me A Supermodel starts its regular episodes tonight, and regular weecaps kick in, too. Join us for beautiful people arguing over who's prettier. Awesome. (Bravo, 10 PM)

Ugh: It doesn't look like Celebrity Rehab is going to be very much fun to watch in the traditional sense, but honestly, I harbor a secret affection for Dr. Drew and may give it a chance to be fascinating. Spoiler: Jessica Sierra is not going to be a shining success story. (VH1, 10 PM)