(Suggestions for Going Through Channels? Excited that Who's The Boss is entering the Geoffrey period? Let me know at missalli at televisionwithoutpity dot com. And thanks to all of you who gracefully didn't point out that for half of yesterday, I was declaring that it was still Tuesday. May I just say: "Doy.")

Loud Is The New Loud: This morning, The View welcomes Dr. Phil, and that's a whole lotta...whatever that is. It's just a lot. (ABC, 11 AM)

Puff, Puff, Puff: Katie Holmes completists will want to be sure to catch Thank You For Smoking with Aaron Eckhart before running to the jillionplex to catch a showing of Mad Money. Anyone? (Cinemax, 10:35 AM)

Guns And Black Tees: Before tonight's regular showing of Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew, you can catch VH1's sneak showing, if you're a home-at-eleven-in-the-morning person. (Or, of course, a TV-on-your-desk-at-work person such as myself.) Will Jessica have a breakthrough? Will Ricco stop being...like that? Will Daniel Baldwin SHUT UP? (VH1, 11 AM; regular showing 10 PM)

Weirdest Echo Of The Year: This year's dog-shooting It Boy, Josh Brolin, appears with Reese Witherspoon in something called Best Laid Plans, a supposed "noir" entry from 1999 involving a false accusation of rape. (Lifetime, 12 PM)

Title Only: 40 Most Shocking Celebrity Mugshots. (VH1, 12 PM)

Dinner Roll With It: I have mixed feelings about Benny & Joon. I'm never enamored of the genre of films that suggests that nothing is more romantic than being vaguely touched in the head in some unspecified manner, but I will admit that Johnny Depp, Mary Stuart Masterson, and Aidan Quinn make for an appealing trio of actors. And looking back on Johnny Depp's career, it's really interesting to observe the way he is always trying to do something, and you can't not respect that a little. (Showtime, 2:30 PM)

Stop Tormenting Me: I look at an episode of Healthy Decadence that promises "meat loaf, bacon-and-chive mashed-potato gratin; red velvet layer cake with cream-cheese frosting," and all I can think is, "There's going to be Lite Cool Whip in there somewhere, and probably Butter Buds." This is what you've done to me, healthy-eating industry. I am a cynic. Are you HAPPY? (Discovery Health, 4 PM)

The Big News: Here's the big news of the evening, obviously -- Lost returns tonight with the fourth-season opener. First, at 8 PM, you'll see a special called Lost: Past, Present, and Future, and then the actual season premiere, called "The Beginning Of The End," airs at 9 PM. My listings show the episode at 62 minutes, so set your recorders accordingly. (ABC, 8 PM [special], 9 PM [show])

Spike Alert: Not only is there a new Smallville this evening, but there's a new Smallville with James Marsters, so belt yourself in. It's hard to find the random new episodes among all the reruns, but I know you're happy to see this one. (CW, 8 PM)

Celebrutastic: On tonight's two-hour (SIGH) episode of Celebrity Apprentice, the description states that the aspiring whatever-they-ares will drum up publicity for shoe donations. Can Nely live another week? Will we ever be rid of Omarosa? Only time will tell. (NBC, 9 PM)

Metallicar Alert: Hey, there's a new Supernatural, too! (CW, 9 PM)

I Wanna Be Sedated: From the totally provincial side of things, I have to recommend the Duke-N.C. State game, having seen Duke barely survive (as usual) an outing with Maryland the other night. Seriously, you know how there are certain situations where you just know that you never know? Any ACC game is like that. Any ACC game. (ESPN2, 9 PM)

I Know The Posters At Television Without Pity Dot Com Agree: If you're a My Name Is Earl fan, tune in to American Chopper to see the cast commission "a show-themed bike." (TLC, 9 PM)

George Michael Hallucinatory Alert: Sure, we're carefully watching Eli Stone because we've seen some good stuff from Greg Berlanti. But we're especially watching it because we are heart-bustingly proud of AB Chao, the latest TWoP recapper to go do wonderful things, including putting in some work on this show. And Victor Garber! Why wouldn't you watch that, I ask you? (ABC, 10 PM)

The Highest Possible Denominator, Honest!: Let's see...last week, Make Me A Supermodel focused on making out and biting each other, and this week, it's about nudity. It's all class, I tell you. (Bravo, 10 PM)

The Oddities Of The Social Order: It's not that I've ever seen Real Sex myself (hi, Mom!), but tonight appears to involve a dude who...well, it's not just being a furry, I think...he's into mascot costumes. I think that's actually a specialized furry. I wonder if he's a cool furry or the least cool furry ever. Aaaanyhoodle. (HBO, 11 PM)