Whatever Sydney Wants: They're back to providing actual episode information about Melrose Place, which allows me to inform you that today, Michael tries to break it off with Sydney, who refuses to be dumped. You know you can't miss this. There's probably all kinds of serious portent signaled by electric guitars. (SOAPnet, 12 PM)

Winter, Spring, Summer, Or Fall: Carole King shows up on Gilmore Girls as the music-store owner, sneaking out of her role as the unseen singer of that fabulous theme song. (ABC Family, 5 PM)

Pacey Alert: Joshua Jackson hams it up with the rest of the uncooked bacon in D2: The Mighty Ducks, which is the one where they go to the Junior Goodwill Games. Hee hee. (Encore, 4:10 PM)

Keeping Your Priorities Straight: Yeah, they're promoting the Beverly Hills, 90210 episodes, too. My favorite part of today's blurb: "A homeless man's death affects Donna." Yeah. Let's see how that poor dead homeless guy affects Donna. It's all about you, Tori Spelling. (And at 6 PM, "Dylan is hurt in a gay-bashing incident." Sometimes, it is too easy.) (SOAPnet, 5 PM)

Hey, It's Slightly Less Of A Stereotype Than Donuts: It seems that the couples on The Biggest Loser will be confronting a barbecue. It's the little things, I guess. (NBC, 8 PM)

Pilot Alerts: FOX is running the pilot episodes of both Bones and House, so that might be an interesting curiosity. Remember when nobody knew whether David What's-His-Name could survive after Angel? (FOX, 8 PM/9 PM)

If You're The People, You'll Love These Awards: It's possible that, in your travels at TWoP, you have heard something about the People's Choice Awards with Queen Latifah, who I am led to believe is VERY ENTHUSIASTIC about the fact that you should tune in. If you haven't already been totally and utterly convinced by whatever you may have heard that you absolutely must tune in to these awards, all we can say is: they are on. (CBS, 9 PM)

I Swear To You, This Is A Real Show: A&E presents Parking Wars, which follows members of the Philadelphia Parking Authority as they...deal with disputes about parking and towing and having boots on your car. I could laugh, but this is the kind of show -- like the wonderful Airline -- that sometimes turns out to be completely fascinating, as it is an actual reality show dealing with the kinds of things that real workers often confront. I'm intrigued. (A&E, 10 PM)