Block Of Cheese TV: This morning, the E! True Hollywood Story people bring you Emmanuel Lewis at 9:00, followed by a two-hour special on Full House at 10:00. This means that three hours of programming on a significant basic cable channel today are devoted not even to showing Webster and Full House, but for giving you extra information about Webster and Full House. You'll have to excuse me; I'm going to go lie down. (E!, 9 AM/10 AM)

It's Got Legs, This Baby!: Do you guys remember Wolf Lake? Anyone? Lou Diamond Phillips, Tim Matheson...no? Well, Sci-Fi is showing a mini-marathon. So you no longer have any excuse not to know about Wolf Lake, unless you have something against failed series from 2001, or you inexplicably aren't interested in people turning into wolves. At the very least, enjoy a few tasty bites of the recaps, which came to us from Heathen before she became a Fug Girl.

Joy Behar Will Never Wash Her Face Again: I came very close to seeing Clay Aiken in Spamalot this weekend -- THAT'S RIGHT -- but if you haven't seen him in a while, he'll be yukking it up with the ladies of The View today. I sort of hope he gets into a detailed discussion of something with Sherri Shepherd. Maybe he'll put his hand over her mouth and the internet will blow up. Get ready! (ABC, 11 AM)

Back, Oldsters!: I find TLC's 10 Years Younger weirdly compelling -- I know -- but today's description is particularly so: "A man who rescued people from a train wreck gets a makeover." Because you know what? There's no point in saving lives if you can't look your best while doing it. Heroism is nothing if you bury it under a salt-and-pepper beard. (TLC, 1 PM)

Not Even Interesting Enough To Be Surreal: Miss this week's opener to the new season of My Fair Brady: Maybe Baby? One of your six trillion chances to see it comes this afternoon! (VH1, 3 PM)

And That's Why There's No More Theater: So I'm looking over the listings, and I see something called High School Musical: The Music In You. This can only be bad. It turns out that this special covers two high schools in Fort Worth putting on stage productions of High School Musical. Isn't that wonderful? The poor drama department, like, "Hmmm, what shall we stage this year? My Fair Lady? Grease? Perhaps West Side Story?" And then this happens. And they all quit. (Disney, 6 PM)

Series Finale Alert: Whew! The final two episodes of Beverly Hills 90210 air today on SoapNet, which is good mostly because it means that they should be cycling back to the beginning, and you know what that means: Breeeeenda! (SoapNet, 5 PM/6 PM)

Less? LESS? But That's Not More!: Tonight brings only one hour of American Idol auditions instead of two, so you can expect a 50 percent reduction in Brian McKnight songs performed by people with personality disorders. Tough day.

Missing The Point: Not much is new tonight at all, but The Biggest Loser is. The fact that someone is apparently scheming to "throw the weigh-in," however, is not new, having been introduced last season by the guy who drank six tons of water or whatever. What are these people doing over there anyway? (NBC, 8 PM)

Everything's Fabricated: I'm normally pretty oblivious to The Real Housewives Of Orange County, but it looks like tonight is the Season 3 finale? Maybe? I don't know. I'll watch a lot of things, but I don't watch this. Hey, I have standards after all! (Bravo, 10 PM)

Not "Hustle" In The "Do The" Sense: As you probably know, at the opening of 2008, what was Court TV gave in to what it was doing anyway and became truTV, focusing on a lot of true crime and cop-voyeur fare, but they're also doing some original stuff, including The Real Hustle, which opens tonight with two episodes focusing on how scams work. Scams, and people's vulnerability to them, are sort of fascinating to me, so I'll probably tune in and see how it is. (truTV, 10 PM/10:30 PM)

Dating Industry Follies: I generally feel that professional matchmakers are not to be trusted; I'll be testing that theory when The Millionaire Matchmaker bows tonight on Bravo. (Bravo, 11 PM)

The Historical Conquests Of David Letterman: Sure, John Edwards and Diablo Cody are bigger deals today, since he's running for president and she'll likely be an Oscar nominee by the time she gets to Letterman's desk, but to me, the big draw for Late Night this evening is Josh Ritter, a singer I would love even if he hadn't gone to Oberlin WOOOOOOOOO!, and one who can serenade me anytime. (CBS, 11:35 PM)