By-The-Numbers Love: There's absolutely no need for you to see The Holiday, starring Cameron Diaz, Jude Law, Jack Black, and Kate Winslet, if you have ever seen a formulaic romantic comedy before, because really, you have already seen The Holiday. (Starz, 9:45 AM)

Guitar Love: Eric Clapton is profiled on this morning's Biography. (Biography, 10 AM)

Cusack Love: Movies tend to swing back and forth, where it's cool to like them, and then they're cliches, and then everybody talks again about loving them, and then they're cliches again. I'm not sure where the needle is on Say Anything at the moment, but it remains one of the gentlest and most legitimately loving romantic movies ever marketed to teenagers. (AMC, 11 AM)

Purely Therapeutic Love: If you love Dr. Drew as I do, you probably already know that there's a new Celebrity Rehab today, which sneak-previews at 11 AM and airs normally at 10 PM. (VH1, 11 AM/10 PM)

Baby Love: Before Clooney was the Clooney you know, he was one of Jackie's rakish flirtations on early outings of Roseanne, two of which air today. (Oxygen, 12 PM/12:30 PM)

Accented Love: For a brief, shining moment after Four Weddings And A Funeral, an attempt was underway to make the scrumptious John Hannah into a viable American leading man. That brief, shining moment consists of Gwyneth Paltrow's otherwise ho-hum Sliding Doors. (Showtime, 1:45 PM)

"The Sounds Of Jungle Love": That is the real title of tonight's episode of Survivor. Allow me to be the first to say: barf. (CBS, 8 PM)

Over-The-Top Love: There's a new Smallville and a new Supernatural tonight, and the fact that the Supernatural description starts with the words "Dean is shot and killed" fills my heart with hilarity, followed by fear for the collapse of the internet, followed by resignation to the fact that it's probably not real. (CW, 8 PM/9 PM)

Lost Love: If you feel it, you'll be glad that a new episode of Lost airs tonight, with the continuing adventures of Jack's team versus Locke's team. I have to admit, I've kind of been drawn in, despite not being a longtime viewer of this show. (ABC, 9 PM)

Fame Love: Fortunately, Celebrity Apprentice is shrinking back down to an hour, just in time for carriage rides in Central Park. Oh, and? Jenna Jameson. That's a totally different kind of love. (NBC, 9 PM)

AB Chao Love: Enjoy a new Eli Stone, and keep sucking up those George Michael titles -- tonight's episode is "Father Figure." (ABC, 10 PM)

Throwback Love: The women on Lipstick Jungle, judging from Erin's recap, don't seem to really deserve love, but they're sure looking for it anyway. (NBC, 10 PM)