Exactly: So everyone remembers Kiss of Death as one of the movies David Caruso left NYPD Blue to make, and consequently one of the movies that pretty much killed his career as a movie star. And, you know, "Kiss of Death"! The jokes don't come hard. But no one mentions how Nicolas Cage and Helen Hunt went on to win Oscars within three years of its release. ...Okay, with good reason. (HBO Zone 8 AM)

"Are You High, Clairee?!": Steel Magnolias showing up on cable isn't exactly an event, but you know you watch it whenever its on. You're not fooling anybody. (TBS, 10 AM)

I Never Knew The Holocaust Had So Much Seersucker!: I saw Sophie's Choice for the first time recently, and it was not the movie I was expecting. Meryl Streep was as phenomenal as I'd heard, but I wasn't prepared for half the movie to be about Peter MacNichol and his Tom Wolfe aspirations. See for yourself this afternoon on one of the Showtime channels. (ShowCase, 2:15 PM)

Charity Porn Alert: Oprah's got her Big Give team on-hand this afternoon, including Nate Berkus and Jamie Oliver, also known as "The only reasons Joe R might possibly watch this show. (Syndicated)

Fat Al Roker Alert: Today's Seinfeld is the episode "The Cigar Store Indian," where Jerry keeps accidentally offending Native Americans, and we learn of Frank Costanza's massive TV Guide collection. (TBS, 5 PM)

Good Times: I hadn't realized that ESPN Classic had the rights to re-air old NCAA basketball tournament games, but they're airing Boston College's big upset of defending national champions North Carolina from 1994. I still remember that game, which is how you can tell I hate North Carolina.  (ESPn Classic, 5 PM)

I Know What Genre Trend You Started Last Summer: Ah, the glory days of teen horror. Urban Legend may not have killed the genre, but not for lack of trying. Happily, as I learned during Halloween season last year, it's not just bad but hilariously bad, including some hall of fame overacting by Rebecca Gayheart and what I can confidently say is the only swimming pool/parka fakeout recorded on celluloid. (FX, 8 PM)

Watch Conservatives Get Uncomfortable About Sex!: Real Time with Bill Maher has sex columnist Dan Savage on tonight. He always manages to hold up well without sounding boilerplate. Plus, it's HBO, so he might say something really filthy. (HBO, 11 PM)