ELI! ELI! ELI! The usual solid block of SportsCenter re-airings this morning should give you ample opportunity to relive that sweet-ass Super Bowl last night. Oh, Tom Brady, yours tears are so yummy and sweet! The tears of unfathomable sadness! ESPN, 5 AM - 2 PM

She Took It Out...Of The Oven, Pervs. I've been in a big Elaine Benes mood as of late, watching the Seinfeld reruns and having a renewed apreciation for the character. George was always my favorite, but now that I'm older, I think I relate to Elaine a little more. Anyway, Julia Louis-Dreyfus is on Rachel Ray's show this morning, teaching her how to bake something. Some muffin tops, perhaps? 10 AM (syndicated)

Since We're Already In A New-York-Bests-Boston Mood... Today's Yankees Classics game is the 7-1-04 game against the Red Sox that remains my favorite regular season baseball game of all time. Derek Jeter! Diving into the seats! Oh, it's good. YES, 9 AM

It Will Be Drama. Bad, Not Funny, Roseanne Kind Of Drama: I actually really love Roseanne, but the marathon Oxygen's running today is from the show's inferior final season. You can tell because the episode blurbs read like: "Terrorists take the Connors captive." Watch it if you're curious, but be forewarned: it doesn't even include that big twist of a finale. Oxygen, 1 PM

Carly 1.5: This isn't the first time this has happened on a soap, but it's still weird that General Hospital has brought back Sarah Brown (Orginal Carly, if you watch the show) to play a different character, while her old character is still being played on the show by someone else. I secretly love it when the soaps embrace all the ways they're allowed to be terrible, and honestly? Sarah Brown can bring it and she looks dynamite, so I'm all for it. ABC, 3 PM

Today's Total Ripoff: USA's airing From Dusk 'Til Dawn 2 and From Dusk 'Til Dawn 3, but not the first one? TOTAL RIPOFF! The first one is among my all-time favorite guilty pleasures, but I have no use for these sequels. Not even with the knowledge that Part 2 stars Bruce Campbell and Tiffani Theissen, and Part 3 stars Sonia Braga and Rebecca Gayheart. USA, 2 PM

And Speaking Of Which...The Guiltiest Pleasure Of Them All: I was so totally into the original Paradise Hotel however many summers ago. It was an unrepentantly trashy show, it was one of several reality TV stops for Toni "Bug-Eye" Ferrari, and what few rules there were kept getting changed up on the fly. It was, well, paradise. I'm inherently skeptical of this new version that's apparently not even good enough for FOX to air during a strike, but I won't lie and say I'm not curious. MyNetworkTV, 9PM