Chicks, Man: Feel like programming your daytime hours with nothing but some of the finest working actresses around? You can sure try: Joan Allen's on Rachel Ray, though I'm not sure what she's promoting beyond her own kick-assedness. (Syndicated) You can watch Glenn Close in a pair of gay-positive TV movies, Serving in Silence: The Margarethe Cammermeyer Story (Logo, 9 AM)and In The Gloaming (Logo 2 PM). Kate Winslet stars in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (HBO2, 2 PM), Michelle Pfeiffer and Winona Ryder in The Age of Innocence (Oxygen, 3 PM), Reese Witherspoon in Election (Showtime Too, 4:30 PM), and finally Jessica Alba in a Dark Angel marathon (Sci-Fi, 8 AM - 4 PM).

You ARE Her Bitch, Bitch: Bravos' running a Season 1 Top Chef marathon this morning, featuring an all-time keeper of a reunion where the Irish guy threatened Stephen, Tiffani tried to see if crying could get the audience to like her (some of us liked you already!), and dumb crying Dave got his dumb catch phrase on a dumb t-shirt.  (Bravo, 11 AM)

Alternate Title: "Setup, Punchline, Pause For Laughter": I enjoy Kathleen Madigan's stand-up and would certainly watch her special, "In Other Words," on Comedy Central. Even if the cable guide description kind of gives things away: "Parents, southern accents, math." Does Comedy Central do this all the time? Does Jim Gaffigan's say "Food, White People, Other Food"? Does Dane Cook's say "Balls, Chicks, How Awesome I Am"? I'm very curious now.  (Comedy Central, 11 AM)

Time To Renew That Commitment To Sparkle Motion: Donnie Darko's on this afternoon. Check out the best movie to ever feature Jake Gyllenhall playing with himself in front of Katharine Ross. (Sundance, 3 PM)

Favorites vs. Favorites: Survivor's on tonight. See if Jonathan continues to play things as poorly as possible, and if Cirie can indeed have the run of the alliance of morons she's chosen. (CBS, 8 PM)

Fairly Warned, Brotha: Seems Lost is a Desmond-centric episode tonight. Might want to take that second drink after dinner. (ABC, 9 PM)

Fingers Crossed For More Cucumber Porn!: The Celebrity Apprentice task tonight is to sell body wash, which automatically makes me think of the last time they tried to sell body wash on this show -- the ill-fated Phallic Cucumber/Gay Sex ad. The fact that the episode is titled "The Money Shot" suggests this could end up the same way. (NBC, 9 PM)