You May Have Forgotten: Hey, remember Jake 2.0? Do you? There's a marathon today on Sci Fi, underway by the time you read these words. (Sci Fi, 8 AM to 4 PM)

The Fop Phase: Long, long ago, I used to write movie reviews, which about six people read, five of whom were family members. And one of the first really terrible movies I wrote up was Nine Months with Hugh Grant, and that's the only reason I retain any affection for it whatsoever, because IT IS TERRIBLE. (E!, 9 AM)

Juicy Silly Casting: Today on Touched By An Angel, Linda Gray plays Gabrielle Carteris's mother-in-law. That's the stuff, Hallmark Channel! (Hallmark, 12 PM)

Finale Alert: The series finale of The Cosby Show, in which Theo graduates from college, was a huge deal at the time, despite the fact that the fortunes of the show had already begun to fade in the wake of The Simpsons. It's overblown to say, as people often do, that this show saved half-hour comedies, since half-hour comedies would, at least at that time, have returned on their own at some point. But NBC's dominance in half-hour comedies (then), as well as the Thursday night tradition and the family show centered around a comedian? Yes, you can thank this show for that. (WGN, 4 PM/4:30 PM)

Obligatory Rant: Today on My Destination Wedding With The Knot: "A New York couple plans a wedding in the Cayman Islands." Okay, LOOK. If you get married, and you want to get married somewhere that will be incredibly expensive for people to travel, then GET MARRIED THERE and COME HOME and HAVE YOUR RECEPTION SOMEWHERE NORMAL. What on Earth possesses people to believe that getting married is an occasion to issue a command to friends and family instructing them, "Here is where your upcoming vacation will be, and here is where you will stay, and I have chosen it, and you will pay for it, and you're welcome!"? I hate the entire concept of destination weddings, even though the primary one I've ever attended was lovely and a great experience, because OH MY GOD. (Style, 5 PM)

He's Not F**ing Matt Damon: Ben Affleck is an interesting guy to me. I teeter back and forth between liking and not liking him, but the film he directed in 2007, Gone Baby Gone, was wonderful, and I'm interested in the decision he made, while still a very viable leading man in terms of selling power, to turn to directing instead. But he still acts as well, and got some fine notices for the lukewarmly received Hollywoodland, in which he played George Reeves, Superman star and possible crime victim. (HBO Signature, 5:45 PM)

Political Nerd Things: Don't forget that tonight is the D.C., Virginia, and Maryland primary coverage night. During the commercials, check in to see if the O-mentum continues, or if Hillary makes a surge on what is and always will be her true home turf. (All Over The Place, roughly 7 PM)

Canaries In A Coal Mine: American Idol is happily finished with the too-long auditions AT LAST, and now we move on to the not-long-enough Hollywood round. My best pal and I often talk about how much we wish we saw half as much audition and twice as much Hollywood, but at least tonight is all Hollywood. Expect hotel-room rehearsal drama, lots and lots of forgotten lyrics, and the novelty of people playing their own instruments, which I admit I think is an interesting idea. Sue me, I'm kind of looking forward to tonight's Idol, is what I'm trying to say. (Fox, 8 PM)

Dog's Dinner Alert: BBC America (and, I guess, the BBC in general) really likes restaurant shows, and tonight, they bring you a new episode of Last Restaurant Standing, in which nine couples compete to open restaurants. It's like Restaurant Wars every week! Apparently, tonight's is the second episode at 9 PM, but you can catch the first one right before it at 8 PM. (BBC America, 8 PM/9 PM)

Anyone?: For all of you who have been anxiously awaiting a new episode of Carpoolers, your time has arrived! Oh, Jerry O'Connell. I hope you haven't been kidnapped and stuffed into a van. Not that I'm saying anyone you might recently have acquired as an enemy would do that to you. (ABC, 8:30 PM)

Do Not Watch This: Seriously, don't watch Big Brother 9. Just let M. Giant watch it for you and tell you what happens. Don't watch it. The strike is ending; you have lots to look forward to. Read a book. Really, just...don't. You'll hate yourself if you do. (CBS, 9 PM)

Power To The People Alert: In an development that brings new meaning to the phrase "back by popular demand," Jericho returns tonight for at least a half of a half-season, to provide a little closure and a little satisfaction to its nutty (HAR HAR!) and devoted fans. This is definitely, totally the most anticipation with which a Skeet Ulrich vehicle has ever been greeted. (CBS, 10 PM)