For Instance: You may not have heard, but the Oscars will soon be upon us. An example of an Oscar-winning performance? Sissy Spacek in Coal Miner's Daughter. (Cinemax, 7:15 AM)

For Not Instance: An example of a non-Oscar-winning performance? Everyone in Operation Dumbo Drop. (Starz, 7:30 AM)

For Obvious Reasons, I'm Not Telling You The Time: I've recently made a bit of a resolution to stop participating in parts of the cultural economy that I wish would shrivel up and die, and I wish you would do the same, and we can start by rejecting preposterously overblown rehashes of well-worn celebrity tragedy stories, such as the three-hour -- yes, THREE-HOUR -- Anna Nicole Smith special that E! has decided to barf onto our televisions. Dear E!: That stands for "Entertainment," as I recall, and not "Ew."

And That Would Be...: My favorite thing that happens on Semi-Homemade Cooking With Sandra Lee is when she makes something that's a combination of nice, normal words, but somehow, it doesn't sound like food. To wit: today, she is making "bacon-wrapped cheese corn." Like...I know all those words. As Joey would say, bacon good! Cheese good! Corn good! But it's like says, "ice-cream-topped cupcake popsicles." Because I understand -- oh, I UNDERSTAND -- and yet, I feel lost. (Food Network, 12:30 PM)

Six Weeks, One Cassette Tape: Of all the things I tend to gas on about, one of the ones I don't always get around to is how much I love Glacier National Park, one of a bunch of parks my family visited during a six-week road trip (during which we camped in a tent-trailer) when I was ten. I was mostly interested in the animals, and I think Glacier is where we saw the most. The Travel Channel is running a special about it today; perhaps I'll tune in and see if I recognize any of the bears. (Travel, 2 PM)

The Brave One Of Your Own Body Parts: Remember that trippy X-Files episode where Jodie Foster played the voice of the psychopathic tattoo? Awesome. It is on today. (Sci Fi, 4 PM)

I Bet This Will Be Soooooo Good: Top 12 fellas sing on tonight's American Idol. Archuleta and Johns 4-eva! (Fox, 8 PM)

Cheesehead Power: Election-y stuff will surely be plentiful tonight, as the Obama-Clinton race heads to Wisconsin and Hawaii. Might be pretty interesting, even if it does involve Wisconsin. (Burn on you, Wisconsin!)

Um: A sure-to-be uncomfortable Frontline examines the 2005 incident at Haditha, renowned for its civilian deaths and subsequent mealy-mouthed cover-uppy-sounding talk from some corners. I don't have anything witty here, really. (PBS, 9 PM, or check local listings)

NOW How Much Would You Pay Not To Watch It?: On a new According To Jim, they will be giving out real, usable credit-card numbers and expiration dates! Okay, they won't, but I thought maybe that would get you on board. No? Poor Jim. (ABC, 9 PM)

Bomb This: Hey, new Jericho! Way to go, peanutties! (CBS, 10 PM)