No better way to start your day than with a healthy dose of paranoia, so check out an X-Files marathon on the SciFi Channel this morning. It's a healthy chunk of season 1 episodes, so you this was well before the series became spotty, then actively bad. So enjoy! (SciFi, 8 AM)

In other marathonny news, Make Me A Supermodel is fixing to dominate your entire afternoon. Sit back and remember Casey and Frankie and...uh, that girl who was chubby. And that girl who slapped Perry. God, remember when this show still had girls on it before its audience of women and gay men ruthlessly eliminated them one by one? (Bravo, 11 AM)

If you've ever heard your friends use the term "moistmaker" in a conversation and had no idea what they were talking about, I refer you to the Friends episode "The One With Ross's Sandwich." (TBS, 6 PM)

When I was home for Easter last weekend, the one thing my relatives most wanted to know was whether I'd ever been picked up by the Cash Cab. Sadly, I have not. Check out back-to-back episodes of the game show with the least overhead ever. (Discover, 6 PM)

There are so many things I loved about David O. Russell's I Heart Huckabees, I could barely fit them all here. That YouTibe video with Russell calling Lily Tomlin a cunt isn't even in the top ten. (IFC, 6:35 PM)

I'm kind of kicking myself for giving up on Reaper last fall, particularly now that Ken Marino and Michael Ian Black and shown up as gay demons.  (CW, 9 PM)

After a couple hallucinatory appearances, George Michael shows up for real on Eli Stone tonight. But what could George Michael have done that would lead him to require legal counsel? (ABC, 10 PM)

The Celebrity Apprentice finally -- FINALLY -- ends its brutally boring season tonight. Not even my soon-to-come-true early-season prediction of Trace Adkins to win will make me watch. But, you know, go for it.  (NBC, 10 PM)

Make Me A Supermodel gives us a reunion episode before next week's finale. Will anyone call Ben on his homophobic, self-absorbed shit? Well nobody has so far.  (Bravo, 10 PM)