Sure you could tune in to Edward Scissorhands for Johnny Depp's breathtaking performance, the oddity of Winona Ryder as a blonde, Dianne Weist and Alan Arkin as Edward's bewildered de facto parents, Kathy Baker's fearsome cougar routine, but no one talks about how weird it was to see Anthony Michael Hall all bulked up for the first time. Tim Burton maybe never gave us anything as weird as that. (Cinemax, 11 AM)

I don't remember this at all, but today's Will & Grace reruns -- the ones where we find out that Will's dad is having an affair with Lesley Ann Warren -- feature The Soup's Joel McHale in a guest-starring role. Good enough for me! (Lifetime, 11 AM)

Okay, I'm taking bets right now as to whether Bravo's airing of Misery does or does not edit out the two most gruesome (and therefore best) scenes: the hobbling, and also the scene where Richard Farnsworth's sheriff gets his midsection blown out. That hobbling scene has become part of the American lexicon, so maybe that has s hot of escaping the edit. (Bravo, 2 PM)

I'll admit I've never seen any of the Death Wish movies, including Death Wish 3 which airs today. My only familiarity with the movies was that joke they made on The Simpsons that one time, where they accidentally traveled to "Bronson, Missouri," and everybody talked like Charles Bronson and the kid was like "This ain't ovah." That was fun. Maybe I'll watch Death Wish 3. (AMC, 4 PM)

Since I've gotten in the habit of pointing out historically significant Seinfeld episodes, "The Soup Nazi" airs today. I'm not saying the catch phrase, though. (YBS, 5 PM)

Now, more than ever, you need to be watching The Soup. You can compare and contrast Joel McHale with his Will & Grace role from earlier today. See how it all comes together here? (E!, 10 PM)

Tonight's Battlestar Galactica promises a period of mourning for poor, airlocked Cally. It seems Gaius Baltar will choose to find comfort in the arms of his sex cult. And good for him, really. (SciFi, 10 PM)