So, you're all with me in thinking that Tina Fey and Amy Poehler aren't going to be able to get through their appearance on The View without saying "cooter" or something else that will make Barbara Walters sputter until she dies, right? Can't wait! (ABC, 11 AM)

I never realized how much I was anticipating Ugly Betty's return until I started seeing the promos again. Hello, Marc and Amanda! I've missed you! Christian Siriano hasn't stepped out of the spotlight long enough for me to start missing him yet, but he'll be on the show too. (ABC, 8 PM)

And along with all those Ugly Betty promos have been the Grey's Anatomy clips with Sandra Oh screaming "INTESTINES IN THE HANDS!" I know it's just playing into the ABC marketing folks' hands when all they want is to spawn a catch phrase, but that doesn't mean I won't probably be yelling "INTESTINES IN THE HANDS" whenever I get the slightest bit stressed this week. (ABC, 9 PM)

I've noticed an uptick in Lost chatter this week, which might just be because the show's returning after several weeks off, but it also might mean a giant spoiler is floating around, so as soon as I submit this, I'm locking myself in a windowless room for the rest of the day. Enjoy your internet full of landmines, suckers! (ABC, 10 PM)

Will Arnett returns to 30 Rock tonight to once again compete with Jack Donaghy for the favor of Don Geist. And to unnerve somebody with his raging sexuality. (NBC, 8:30 PM)

Michael and Dwight headto New York this week to team up with Ryan in some capacity on The Office. No one on Earth deserves their company more. (NBC, 9 PM)

Supernatural returns with a Ghost Hunters-style reality show send-up. Of all the reality shows for this show to parody, this one offers the least opportunity for brother/brother fanfic, so kudos to the folks behind Supernatural! (CW, 9 PM)