It's Tuesday. It's a long way to the weekend. Work is very possibly kicking your ass. What you need is obvious, even if you haven't been able to articulate it, so let me help you out: The Neil Diamond version of The Jazz Singer on Showtime 2. (Sho2, 12 PM)

I realize that bitching about people with insufficient celebrity or general public interest in their lives getting their own episodes of Biography is beyond played out at the point, but the cast of Home Improvement? Really? Yeah, yeah, Tim Allen was on drugs and the mom was a pill and the one kid married a cougar, but the whole enterprise hurts my heart all the same. There probably isn't even a section on how the entire Jonathan Taylor Thomas phenomenon was a giant practical joke on both the American public and "JTT" himself. Feh. (Biography, 2 PM)

So E! keeps making their countdown programs. This morning, they invite you to check out the 25 Most Memorable Swimsuit Moments. Really, though: you've got Bo Derek in 10, and the Coppertone baby, of course, but who are the other twenty-three? No, don't answer that, I'm not really curious. (E!, 5 PM)

Today's Friends rerun is "The One With The Male Nanny," which might as well be titled "The One With Freddie Prinze, Jr.," since that's how I recall it. I was never a huge fan of his, but he's kind of funny here. And he annoys Ross, so that's always a plus. (TBS, 6 PM)

We can't put it off any longer: Andrew Lloyd Webber on American Idol. I'm not expecting anything truly awesome like Syesha dressed up like a cat or David Cook in a phantom mask, but it's fun to imagine it anyway. (FOX, 8 PM)

Tonight's Law & Order: SVU features Bailey Chase as a closeted football star who is...implicated in a murder, is my best guess. A sexy murder! Anyway, you may not recognize the name, but Chase is occasionally on Ugly Betty as Daniel's man-whore friend Becks, and he was also on Buffy way back when as commando soldier Graham. He's also purty. (NBC, 10 PM)

I don't have a plot synopsis for this week's episode of The Riches, but I'm guessing Wayne loses a bit more of his soul and Dahlia loses a bit more of her mind. Either way, I want more Nina and I want it right now. (FX, 10 PM)